My newest adventure and greatest responsibility

For those who follow my Instagram feed, you probably already know where this is headed. At the beginning of last month, I was fortunate to experience something truly amazing. I gave birth to a healthy baby!

Many are probably asking themselves, “wait…what? I didn’t even know she was pregnant.” That was intentional. I really wanted to enjoy my pregnancy for myself, my family, and my close circle of friends and coworkers. Although I have a blog and social media accounts, I actually believe it is really important (and a luxury) to have some privacy and just enjoy life without being worried about posting or comments. This is obviously a personal decision and some people want to share every step of the pregnancy on social media.

I don’t think either way is right or wrong, it should be whatever the pregnant person is most comfortable with. As the belly grows and you begin to show, society already thinks they have a right to comment on your body and give you unsolicited advice. It’s up to you if you want to open that forum up on social media as well.

As a physician, I also am aware of what a miracle it is to actually become pregnant and then stay pregnant and ultimately deliver a healthy baby safely. There are a thousand things that can go wrong along the way. A danger of oversharing is possibly having to confront curious people if the posts suddenly stop because something went wrong. I was cautiously excited with every new milestone of the pregnancy: the positive pregnancy test, the 12-week mark, the genetic testing, the 20-week anatomy ultrasound, the 24-week viability mark, making it to full term. With each milestone, I became more excited. I was still cautious about my excitement until I held my healthy baby after delivery.

My Journey to Motherhood

A year ago today is when this journey officially started. It started with a telemedicine call with the University Hospital Fertility Center in Cleveland. I was visiting my father in Wisconsin at the time, it was the early days of the pandemic, so the newly widely available telemedicine really worked in my favor.

Although June 1st, 2020 was the official start, I have wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember. I put it off during medical school and residency because I didn’t have the time or the means to have a child. Nor did I want to have a maternity leave of just 6 weeks. I also wanted to completely focus on medical school and residency because there was a lot to focus on. My plan had been to become pregnant about a year out of residency. However, my plan was also to travel a lot during that first year out. With the Covid-19 pandemic, that wasn’t really an option. So I figured, if I can’t travel, I can be pregnant instead and pulled by timeline up by a year.

The birds and the bees

A rather common first question after sharing that you are pregnant is “who is the father?”. Although I completely understand why that is the case, it was not the question I focused on when deciding to try to conceive. At least not so much WHO the father is but rather, WHAT his genetics are like.

You see, I’ve always envisioned myself as a mother, but not necessarily as a wife or partner. Sure, if I found the right person to raise children with, I wouldn’t be opposed to a relationship. However, I can’t say I was actively working on making that scenario happen. I’ve dated various men but rarely was it anything serious. And with those with whom it was, it didn’t work out for different reasons. That was never a major concern for me though. I have said for many years that I would use a sperm donor to conceive if the right man wasn’t in my life at the time that I was ready to have kids.

I’m very happy with my life not being in a partnership, I am grateful to be able to travel for work and I have a ton of projects I want to do around the world. Throw in having a strong personality, being a doctor, and a global pandemic, and the pool of potential candidates dwindles very quickly. But that’s perfectly ok by me.

Unconventional but On-brand

When I first started telling my family and friends that I was seriously considering a sperm donor pregnancy, I received a lot of support. I typically had to elaborate on my reasoning. Afterward, everyone could see why this was a good option for me. (At least to my face… who knows what was said when I wasn’t around.) Many weren’t phased at all by my plans because they had heard me talk about it before. I thought I’d get different reactions from people who didn’t know me that well, but to my surprise, many women said I was a genius and they wish they had done it that way. Baby-daddy drama is real, y’all.

I didn’t know anyone personally who had had a donor pregnancy though so I had a lot to learn. Luckily, a lovely woman I met a couple of years ago is a reproductive endocrinologist and infertility specialist. She was just finishing up her fellowship in Cleveland. She set me up with her good friend and co-fellow for my first consultation. Prior to my appointment, she gave me recommendations for sperm banks so that I could do a little research.

Sharing the Journey

I want to share my journey to motherhood on this site because I think its important for people trying to conceive to know that this is an option. Its definitely not for everyone but it might be for someone reading this that didn’t realize it was an option. It might also be educational for the rest. To protect my child’s privacy, I will not be sharing very specific information regarding the donor or my child. I will also not be sharing pictures of my child on any social media platforms that show their face. I grew up without an internet presence until about middle school at which point I was able to share what I wanted about myself (for better or for worse). I’d like to give my child that same opportunity. Although I realize it’ll be a lot harder in this technological day and age.

I’m pretty much an open book otherwise and happy to answer questions or help with information should you need some help. I am not shy about the fact that I used a donor (as evident by this public post) and actually am quite proud of it. So please don’t feel like it’s an awkward situation. As long as you are coming from a sincere place of wanting to understand and learn, I welcome any questions.

So over the next couple of months, I will share the various stages of my journey on this site as I enjoy time off of work and raise a baby!

Svikki MD

In terms of work, I plan on starting part time in September. I’m hoping to find a job for the rest of the year near my mother in Ohio. Starting January 2022, I’ll start 4-6 month assignments again. At which point, I would like to have a live-in German Au Pair nanny. I’ll give updates on jobs as they come.

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