Motherhood

Hapai in Hawai’i

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This might be unpopular opinion,…but I love being pregnant.

PAST

I’ve met a few other women in my life that have felt the same way but most don’t. And that is totally ok. There is no right or wrong way to be pregnant. I was very fortunate in my pregnancies that my symptoms were limited. Food aversion in the first trimester and some hip pain with sleeping in the third trimester. I admire my sister for having gone through three pregnancies where she was ill and throwing up essentially until the baby was born. Knowing I would feel ill for 9 months, I don’t know if I could have done it three times. And she did all of this while being in residency or already a mom to two kids and an OBGYN attending. I wholeheartedly understand when she says she doesn’t like being pregnant.

It’s also ok to like certain aspects of pregnancy and dislike others. Pregnancy, like many things in life, is complex and not black/white. I don’t want anyone to feel they have to have the same experience as me or feel bad that they didn’t enjoy pregnancy.

In my experience, pregnancy was wonderful. I loved the growing belly, and the baby kicks, and looked forward to the birthing experience.

First Trimester

As I mentioned, I had food aversions during the first trimester. I didn’t feel ill, I just had no appetite for anything. This didn’t bother me too much during my first pregnancy. With a toddler at home to feed, however, it seemed like such a big task to find nutritious food to offer my toddler and not just live off of noodles every day. Thankfully, noodles are a favorite food in my toddler’s book. But I wanted to make sure we hit a few more food groups with our meals.

I ended up losing a few pounds (similar to the first pregnancy). However, I started at a lower weight than the first time around. This was mainly due to the hectic life of a full-time working solo mom and not that I was actively trying to lose weight. I was at the lowest weight I had been since graduating High School which scared me a bit so I tried to eat, even if I wasn’t hungry.

Thankfully, I didn’t have the nausea or extreme fatigue others experience. Shortly after entering the second trimester, the food aversions started to lift. I rejoiced in the fact that fruits and vegetables were appetizing again.

Second Trimester

The second trimester was fairly uneventful. I noticed a baby bump quicker than with the first pregnancy, which is expected. I also felt the first fetal movement much earlier, at about 15 weeks.

My ultrasounds and genetic testing happened in Honolulu. It was WILD to me that the Women’s Health Center on Moloka’i didn’t offer genetic testing. Especially since the facilities of the same hospital system in Honolulu did. One would think they could extend their lab contract to Moloka’i and spare the pregnant patients an expensive trip to Honolulu for a blood draw.

As with my first pregnancy, I did not want to know the sex of my baby in advance. I feel we have so few good surprises in our lives these days that this was a surprise I was curating for myself. I repeatedly told doctors that I absolutely did not want to know at every appointment. Especially the ultrasound appointments! I always closed my eyes when they placed the probe on my stomach until they told me it was safe to look.

As the sex was not mentioned in any report, only the doctor who did my fetal anatomy ultrasound and my OB at the end of my pregnancy knew in advance which sex my baby had. Ultimately, I didn’t care which sex my baby had. I feel there is way too much pressure put on a baby’s sex. However, I can also understand parents being interested in finding out as soon as possible.

Third Trimester

I stayed in Hawaii until I was 35 weeks pregnant. The belly continued to grow and I continued to go about life as usual. The pregnancy hardly slowed me down while caring for my energetic toddler. I occasionally went to bed earlier, but I still did all the cleaning around the house, the grocery shopping, and packing for our departure. What other option did I have? I felt physically well too so it was fine.

The office staff threw me a baby shower during my last week at the office. They are such sweet people.

I also managed to shoot with a local photographer again. It was sort of spontaneous and the rain cut our session short but we still managed to get some great pictures!

At 35 weeks pregnant, I schlepped my toddler, car seat, carry-on, and two suitcases from Moloka’i via Honolulu to Ohio. We were only there for a day before my toddler and I flew to Texas to meet up with a fashion photographer. I’ve known her since High School and have always wanted to shoot with her. Our schedules didn’t align during my first pregnancy so it was a top priority of mine that I make it work this time around.

We got some amazing shots! I’m in the process of printing a selection out as posters for our current apartment.

After the shoot, I drove to Austin to meet up with my good friend and finally met her baby boy. We enjoyed a day of mommy/children time together. The following day, it was back to Ohio to pack and get ready for Germany.

The final stretch

I arrived in Germany just shy of 36 weeks pregnant. We stayed with my aunt and uncle for a few weeks while we got the basics set up in our new apartment. I celebrated my birthday with friends I hadn’t seen in over 6 months. My toddler started German daycare and loves it.

Having my toddler in daycare and not working as a physician, this was the first time in almost three years that I consistently had a few hours of “me-time”. Much of that time was still spent getting errands done that were more easily done without a toddler. However, I also made it a priority to sit in a cafe and enjoy a beverage peacefully. Had I not been pregnant, I would’ve made several trips to a spa for a massage or facial.

Differences in Prenatal Care Before Delivery

With both of my pregnancies, I worked until about 35 weeks. In the first, I then traveled from South Dakota via Wisconsin to Ohio. For this last pregnancy, I traveled from Hawai’i via Ohio to Germany. For both, I did my routine prenatal care with a different provider than the one around the time of delivery. In America, my delivery was assisted by an OBGYN. In Germany, my prenatal care was done by an OBGYN but my delivery was assisted by a midwife. Midwifery is much more prevalent in Germany than it is in America. Many women do their prenatal care with midwives as well.

German Benefits

Since I didn’t work in Germany, many of the peripartum benefits didn’t apply to me. I spoke with my friend about what benefits are available. Just to name a few things:

  • Some women are not allowed to continue working the moment they become pregnant if their job poses a risk to the pregnancy (such as daycare workers, teachers, flight attendants). They stop working but continue to get their full pay.
  • Physicians (interestingly enough, given the constant exposure to disease) are still allowed to work BUT are only allowed to work the day shift, and aren’t allowed to draw blood or administer chemotherapy (among other restrictions).
  • The pregnant person receives 100% of their salary during the time they are not allowed to work
  • 6 weeks before the due date and 8 weeks after are protected times and no pregnant person has to work while still receiving pay and job protection
  • After the 8 weeks postpartum, the “Parent-time” starts. The regulations are currently changing a bit but essentially, you get paid a percentage of your salary up to 1,800 Euros a month during the parental leave which lasts 12 months.
  • You can take unpaid parental leave until the child is 7 years old and your job is secured during that time.

Pregnancy pokes

One of the benefits I was able to partake in was prenatal acupuncture. I went once a week to see a midwife who performed acupuncture on my lower legs. The thought was that the points targeted increased the energy flow to the cervix and uterus and would decrease the time of labor. The week before my due date, we added a point that was meant to induce labor. Did it work?

It felt like a little spa treatment of sorts. It was an opportunity to just relax and focus on the pregnancy. Ultimately the delivery was shorter than with my first child (not uncommon for the second child). The delivery happened 4 days after the induction points were targeted. So, who knows?

PRESENT

We went on our first family trip since the last post. We drove to Stuttgart for my godchild’s confirmation. It was a 4.5-hour drive. We made it with just two potty/breastfeeding breaks along the way.

It was a nice weekend of spending time with family. The view from my great-aunt’s house is always lovely. The pretzels in the south are just better, so a lot of pretzel breads were eaten. I wish we would’ve stayed a bit longer but the weather was oddly freezing and rainy. We wouldn’t have been able to do much with two small children. Wrangling a toddler in someone else’s house is not exactly relaxing for me. Hopefully, we will head back again in the summer.

FUTURE

I am fully in planning mode for future trips. These plans seem to constantly be changing as family and friends ask if I want to join them on trips. If plans work out as they are currently planned, we will have about two trips at least per month for the rest of the year. I’m excited to be going on some trips with my sister (who currently lives in Austria). Many European destinations but also some northern Africa and Asia will be included.

Should be quite the adventure to travel with two small children as a solo-mom. Stay tuned!

mfg

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Happiness, Motherhood

And just like that… we are three.

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The news is out! I’ve welcomed a second child into the world. It was always my intention to have at least two children if possible. I’m beyond grateful that this is now my reality.

I will be taking off the rest of the year from my work as a locum physician to spend time with my kids and do some traveling. My goal is to share much more about my solo motherhood. I’ve received several requests to do more content about being a solo mother by choice. I’m thrilled there is a demand for it and excited to deliver. I’ve always been an open book about this topic whenever anyone would ask me about my decisions. I’m hoping to bring more awareness to this lifestyle, support those considering it for themselves, and cheer on those who are living their lives as solo moms! 

I will be sharing videos and info on Instagram/TikTok/Facebook. Additionally, I’ll continue to go more in-depth about these topics here on the blog. As I plan on traveling with the kids soon, I’ll be sharing this as well. I will continue to respect the privacy of my children. This involves not showing their faces in pictures or using their names in text. 

I plan to cover the different stages of becoming a mother for a second time as well as being a SMBC. Hopefully, you’ll continue to join me on this journey. Feel free to suggest topics you’d like to see covered or questions you’d like answered! I will do my best to address them!

For this (and possibly future posts) I will split it up into Past, Present, and Future segments. This way, I can discuss my pregnancy journey that was but also keep you in the loop of what is going on now and what is to come! 

PAST

Trying To Conceive

My siblings and I are all about 2 1/2 years apart. I wanted a similar age gap for my children. Although trying to conceive and pregnancies can be very unpredictable, I did more or less achieve my goal. After several months of being in Hawaii, I started looking for clinics. It will come as no surprise that there was not one located on Moloka’i. I did speak to the midwife on Moloka’i, who recommended a fertility clinic in Honolulu.

Thankfully, the fertility clinic offered virtual visits for the initial visit. I am a rather straightforward case. I have no known fertility issues. A workup was done with my first pregnancy. I already had sperm bought and didn’t need any hormone assistance for my cycle. Nonetheless, they did want me to do an ultrasound before the first IUI. For regular readers, you’ll know the difficulties of traveling to/from Moloka’i. For the first few trips to Honolulu, I traveled with sort of an entourage. My sister was still in town watching my first child while I was at work, so everyone came along for doctor’s appointments. It was a nice change of pace for us to be in a big city for a few days.

Attempt #1

Since everything looked fine on the ultrasound, I was able to attempt an IUI with the next cycle. I had regular periods for many months before trying to conceive which ended up being extremely helpful with travel planning. Given how unreliable the local airline was, I couldn’t book a ticket the same day or the day before. Consequently, we would spend two or three days in Honolulu. This in itself was not cheap given how expensive Honolulu is. However, given how time-sensitive an IUI is, it was a necessary expense. 

I was so stressed during the first attempt. Besides the usual stressing over whether I would get pregnant, I stressed whether we would make it on time with our flights. Not surprisingly, our Honolulu flight was moved by the airline. I felt it was safer to fly to Maui rather than Oahu from Moloka’i and then catch a flight with Hawaiian Airlines from Maui to Oahu. The flights from Molokai to Maui seemed to have less disruptions than those to Honolulu. My sister was back in Austria at this point. Luckily, she had a friend who lived in Honolulu. She was able to watch my child while I went to the fertility clinic for the IUI. 

Two weeks later, I took that test. And it was negative. I wasn’t really surprised by this. I just felt too stressed and I didn’t expect it to work right away anyways. Becoming pregnant is ultimately up to Mother Nature (aka biology). You can only do so much but there are so many things that can happen along the way that result in you not getting pregnant. Almost immediately after the negative test, I went ahead and booked my flights and accommodations around the time of my expected next fertility window. 

Attempt #2

Having everything booked and squared away at work made me much more relaxed the second time around. My toddler and I flew to Honolulu, ate some good food, and waited for the smiley face on the ovulation test. It appeared as expected and I was able to go into the clinic the next day for the IUI. My sister’s friend again had some time to watch my toddler during the procedure. 

An IUI, or intrauterine insemination, is rather straight forward. A speculum is inserted into the vagina to help visualize and access the cervix. A very thin catheter is inserted through the cervix into the uterus and the washed sperm is inserted. I had to lay on the exam table for an additional 10 minutes before I was able to get up and leave. That’s it. Easy peasy. 

Clearly, I had a very limited non-work-related wardrobe

Halfway around the world

About a week after the 2nd IUI, we headed on a very long journey to the other side of the world, Germany. This was probably the longest traveling journey I had done so far with a toddler. The time difference between Hawai’i and Germany is 12 hours. Given how long the traveling was (we arrived two days later than we left), my toddler didn’t have significant jet lag. I have only ever experienced jet lag by proxy (because my kid would wake up at odd hours) but not for myself. 

I was in the kitchen of my aunt and uncle’s place when I read the result of the pregnancy test. 

Positive!!

I was so relieved. 

Those who have actively tried to conceive will likely be able to relate to the feeling of relief from that positive pregnancy test. Not only the joy of being pregnant but the instant resolution of stress related to further attempt planning and waiting on a positive result. I am nonetheless always very reserved with my joy about pregnancy because I know how much can go wrong before it all goes right. But at that moment, I was just so happy that it had worked again. 

It’s always a gamble to announce a pregnancy early on but considering we were throwing a family reunion, I did inform my family and close friends of the positive result. Always with the caveat that it was still early and a lot could happen. Ultimately, it was up to Mother Nature and I let her take the wheel. 

PRESENT

Life with two kids has been a transition… for us all. 

Before the arrival of my second child, it was just me and my toddler. Living in rural Moloka’i, this was even more the case than if we had been around family. It was just the two of us against the world. I prepared my toddler weeks in advance for the arrival of a baby. I made a personalized book explaining what would happen when I go into labor so that they would know what’s going on. They were so excited to become a big sibling. I was excited for them,…and also a bit scared of what the transition would be like for them. 

Reflection and Growth

The transition has been beautiful but also hard at times. I never really felt that motherhood was hard until I found myself in the position of my toddler having an age-appropriate meltdown and my newborn needing my attention as well. My heart felt torn in two. I had to triage what needed to be done. Thank goodness for the years of medical training to help with that task and stay (relatively) calm. There have been moments where I was not as collected as I would’ve liked to be. The sleep deprivation likely didn’t help much in those moments.

My patience wasn’t as high for toddlerisms as it typically was. After reacting more harshly than I’d like, I’d feel awful that I reacted with a harsher tone. I made sure to apologize to my toddler for my tone so they know they don’t deserve to be spoken to like that. After reflecting on these moments, how they made me feel, how they must have made my toddler feel and how I would like them to feel instead while also reiterating the age appropriateness of their behavior, things have improved. 

One of the things that surprised me the most was how I mourned the loss of the closeness to my toddler. Before the baby, I could focus my entire energy and attention on my toddler. Now I couldn’t. I missed our snuggles, our hugs, our playtime. I felt us growing apart. Thankfully, I have family and friends here who jumped in and took over some of those needs. But it still meant they didn’t have their mom there all the time and I didn’t have those experiences with them. 

Now, I make the effort to seek closeness with my toddler in the few moments I don’t have the baby in my arms. Even when I am holding the baby, I get down on the ground and play with my toddler as best I can. I feel we’ve developed a new form of closeness that is meeting most of our needs at this point. I am confident we will continue to find our groove. 

FUTURE

Not surprisingly, I’ve been feeling the urge to travel again. I’ve booked the three of us a trip to Mallorca, Spain towards the end of May. We might take a road trip to the Netherlands towards the beginning of May (depending on the weather). In a couple of weeks, I am taking the kids to southern Germany for a family event. 

Traveling with two kids will certainly be another learning experience I am ready to take on. I recently came across the Bucket List Family on Instagram. Although they seem to be living the life I would love to live, being a solo mom with two kids would make such a lifestyle much harder. I’m happy to do a light version of their lives and travel often with my kiddos. I’m excited to show them the world and experience different cultures together. 

I hope you’ll continue to follow along!

mfg

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Locum, Mother Nature, Travel

A hui hou and Mahalo Moloka’i

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Aloha and greetings from gray-skied Germany!

The fact that my last post was in August of 2023 is a good indication of how busy I was over the last 6 months. 

Our time in Hawai’i has bittersweetly come to an end. We departed Moloka’i on January 19th, 2024, just 9 days shy of being there a full year. I am so happy I decided to go and grateful for the experience. 

As previously mentioned, we moved into a new house for the remainder of my contract. The view from that house is perhaps one of my favorite views I’ve had anywhere. The house was spacious but certainly also gave me plenty of work keeping it clean. There seemed to be seasons for critters who tried to join our living situation. Cockroaches, scorpions, centipedes, ants, and mice all seemed to take turns keeping me on alert all the time. I always with house shoes on. I would scan the floor each morning before my toddler awoke to make sure nothing was lying around.

My fear was either of us getting a centipede stab most of all. Many on the island had told me these hurt the worst. I had also seen some infected wounds in the office. I didn’t mind the centipedes’ appearance, just their potential. The scorpions were my least favorite encounters, however. I’m happy to report we both made it off the island unharmed by critters. 

We stayed mostly on the island of Moloka’i the second half of the year. Aside from a weeklong trip to visit my mother and sister in Ohio and New York, respectively, and an extended weekend trip to Miami for a friends wedding. Hawai’i is just so far away! Travel times were longer than my average travel times to Europe from the mainland. Luckily, my toddler is seasoned when it comes to long flights and we managed them relatively well. 

Sunset view from our house
The beautiful driveway
The sunsets were often magical

Mokulele Monopoly

One of the main reasons we didn’t venture to the other islands for short trips was related to the singular and awful local airline. Notoriously unreliable, Mokulele, also called Moku-delay-lay, has made life difficult for the community on the island. Aside from frequently moved flights, delays, or cancellations, they are also quite expensive. A short 20-minute flight to Maui costs about $120. Whereas you can island hop between the other islands with Hawaiian Airlines for a fraction of the price. Although I realize flying small propeller planes is likely more expensive per capita than a full jet plane, it hasn’t always been this expensive. Pre-pandemic airlines used to offer reliable $50 one-way tickets. That company was sadly bought up by Mokulele and well, they certainly didn’t continue their business model in any regard. 

The flight issues have lead medical specialists to stop coming to the island. Home physical therapists stopped their services as well. Patients have a hard time making it to their doctor’s appointments on time in Honolulu. Some offices have resorted to just saying “Get here and we will see you when we can”. I’m positive it is impacting more areas of business than just healthcare. I truly wish and hope that this improves for the people of Moloka’i quickly. 

Waiting once again on our flight after several delays

The People

Besides the beautiful ocean views and ability to visit the beach on the weekends, I will certainly miss the people and community of Moloka’i. There is beauty in small towns and the communities that inhabit them. Certainly, there are also drawbacks. It’s not for nothing that a popular sticker reads “What happens on Moloka’i, everyone already knows!” 

The vast majority of people I interacted with were grateful for my presence as a doctor. I always replied, “It’s my pleasure, a beautiful island is not a bad place to be!”. 

The island doesn’t feel like your typical Hawai’i. It feels like real people, living real lives, with culture and community. I don’t blame them at all for wanting to keep it that way and hold off any major tourist development. This would undoubtably change the vibe of Moloka’i. So, if you are looking to visit Hawai’i, please, go to any of the other islands that are set up for tourism. Not only do those islands need the tourism to sustain so many people’s livelihoods but you’ll also find enough beautiful nature on the other islands with much better infrastructure to accommodate you. Don’t be shocked if you aren’t exactly made to feel welcome on Moloka’i as a tourist. It’s not what she is there for. 

A stroll through our front yard

The Office

The office staff is another area I will miss dearly. The whole staff was female except one male MA (bless his heart for managing to work with all of us). They are fun, fierce, loving, caring, and work hard. My toddler enjoyed visiting all the aunties and especially loved being spoiled with chocolates. 

Being a small town, patient and staff interactions were much more intimate and intertwined than in bigger cities. Many patients were someones relative or they had gone to school together. It often led to the hallways being filled with staff stopping at exam rooms to chit chat with patients or patients chatting across the hallway between rooms with other patients waiting. It was just a really lovely environment to work in. Props to those women and man for supporting their community so well. 

Last day as Dr. Vik

The Beach

Months before our departure, it dawned on me that we only had a limited amount of weekends left on Moloka’i. To not regret not having used the opportunity wisely, I made an effort to go to the beach every weekend, usually on Sundays. It worked most weekends unless it was pouring rain. The few hours on the beach grounded me. My toddler enjoyed our beach days too. Nothing like rolling around in the sand and running into the ocean. We often started our time on the beach by ourselves and as it drew closer to noon, a few others would appear. 

There was a group of paddlers that met most Sundays at one of the beaches we frequently visited. My toddler loved looking at the canoe and climbing all over it while on shore. I knew some of the paddlers through our friend who rented us the house we were living in. They all embraced my toddler’s curiosity and enthusiasm with the canoe and often would allow them to climb in and even handed them paddle to paddle the air. So often, my toddler requested to go out on the water with them. I sadly had to deny the request and said we would have to wait until they were older and bigger for it to be safe. So, while the crew of paddlers took off on their trip, my toddler and I would run, splash and swim in the ocean instead. 

Looking back on those beach moments, I think being on those beaches was when I was most at ease. 

On duty, all the time

Many people asked me if I would be coming back to Moloka’i in the future. I could see myself going back, for a few months at most. Alternatively, when my kid is in their tween years. As much as I enjoyed our year on Moloka’i, it wasn’t always easy. That’s not to say it was hard, but it was very busy. I initially thought it would be a more relaxed year overall given the limited distractions. While this was true in one sense and I certainly felt calm with living the slower-paced, less distracted life and daily views of the ocean,…normal day-to-day things kept me constantly busy. 

On the mainland, I had several factors that helped simplify my life as a single working mother. I would occasionally have a cleaning person clean the house we stayed in. There were many opportunities to entertain a toddler including museums, parks, libraries, playgrounds, etc. I had an au pair last year which allowed for me to have a few hours a week to do something for myself such as work out or sit in a cafe and read. Purple Carrot (a vegan meal kit subscription) was not only extremely convenient but I didn’t have to plan what was for dinner. I’d also have a healthy, delicious lunch left over for the next day. I was closer to family which allowed not only for more visits but also gave me a sense of back up if I needed my mother to fly in to watch my child in case of illness. 

In contrast, on Moloka’i, I had none of this. No one to clean the house (which took up several hours every weekend). No restaurants that catered to vegan or vegetarian diets and Purple Carrot didn’t ship to Hawaii. This meant I was fully responsible for all meals and if I didn’t have the energy to cook, we’d have pasta with tomato sauce. Besides the beach, there was one playground we could go visit. This had to be done in the early morning or late evening otherwise it stood in the hot sun throughout the day. There were no other toddler activities to partake in. My family and friends were so far away, that I hardly had anyone visit (despite SO MANY people saying they would when I announced I’d be going to Hawaii). 

The above essentially meant I was always doing something. Rarely did I just sit and take a deep breath. If I wasn’t working my 40-hour weeks, I was fully engaged in being a mom and taking care of the home. I am aware that this is the reality for many women. Furthermore, I chose to go to a remote island. I’m merely reporting that it was a lot to juggle constantly and now, being around more resources, I more profoundly realize just how busy I was managing it all by myself this past year. Moving forward, I have to ensure certain support systems to prevent burnout on my end and to continue to allow me to enjoy the lifestyle. 

On a whale watching tour
Lilikoi (passion fruit) from our yard
Our adopted feral kitty Cacao
Flowers from the garden

What’s up next?

To be determined. For right now, I am enjoying some much needed time with family and friends in Germany. I’ve eaten my weight in bread because it’s just so darn delicious. The plentiful cafes and restaurants have also made me happy. I have some exciting developments in the works that I will share more on once finalized. So stay tuned for that! Shouldn’t be more than a few weeks.

Not an uncommon occurence on Hawaii
This moon was spectacular
I mean….seriously.

mfg

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Happiness, Locum, Mother Nature, Travel

Aloha from Hawai’i

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It’s been a little over 6 months since we moved to Hawai’i. More specifically, we moved to the island of Moloka’i. It is known as the last island of “real Hawai’i” as all the others have been dominated by tourism. Tourism has its positive and negative aspects, but the majority of the population of Moloka’i has decided they’d rather not have tourism here. Instead, we find ourselves on a rural island with small-town vibes.

A Quick Island Overview

The whole island itself has about 7,000 people. It takes about 1h45 to make it from one side of the island to the other by car. It takes that long mainly due to the winding roads on the East end and speed limits of 20 mph to 45 mph along the whole route. About midway along the main road that runs along the south coast of Moloka’i is the main city of Kaunakakai.

Kaunakakai

Kaunakakai is where our critical access hospital is located, my office is across from it. This is also where you’ll find our main road. It has two grocery stores, the post office, the bakery, a few other shops, an art gallery, and that’s about it. There are no chain stores here. Amazon takes anywhere from 1-2 weeks to deliver goods.

East vs West

The East end of the island is lush with beautiful greenery and a water wall at the very end. The beaches we tend to go to on the weekends are located on the East side. The west side is flatter and drier. There are also some nice beaches that are bigger. But they don’t really have the palm trees lining the shore as the east-end ones do.

The impressive and historic North shore

The whole north side of the island contains the world’s largest sea cliffs. They are truly magical to fly by when you’re headed to or from Maui. Jutting off of those seacliffs is a triangular piece of land at sea level that is called Kalaupapa.

Per the national park services website:

When Hansen’s disease (leprosy) was introduced to the Hawaiian Islands, King Kamehameha V banished all afflicted to the isolated Kalaupapa Peninsula on the north shore of Molokai.  

Since 1866, more than 8,000 people, mostly Hawaiians, have died at Kalaupapa. Once a prison, Kalaupapa is now a refuge for the few remaining residents who are cured but were forced to live their lives in isolation.

https://www.nps.gov/kala/index.htm

Since many of the affected people didn’t know life outside of Kalaupapa, they decided to stay. The park services and state promised to continue to care for them until they passed as an effort to right the wrongs of history.

You used to be able to visit the community by taking donkeys down the cliff side but the community has been closed to visitors since the pandemic. There isn’t a timeline yet for when it’ll reopen to limited amounts of visitors. It’s something I would be extremely interested in seeing firsthand.

Life on Moloka’i

It was certainly a process of getting used to life here. Life is not hectic here, one of the things I looked forward to. We don’t have a movie theater, a mall, or even a Target to entertain you. The main forms of entertainment on the island are beach days, hiking, hunting, fishing, paddling, and spending time with your ‘ohana (family). For my toddler and I, that leaves us mainly with beach days.

Child care

During the first three months we were here, my sister Karoline joined us from Austria to be the nanny while I looked for local childcare. I knew that having an au pair was not going to be an option when I decided to come to Moloka’i. I also think an au pair would be bored out of their mind with minimal opportunity to meet similarly aged people. It wasn’t easy for Karoline either. She would spend four days at the house with my toddler. Our place was located up a steep hill, not within walking distance of a park or beach. On the weekends, we would make several trips to one of the beaches. She definitely got a lot of book reading in and started a bracelet-making business. I really appreciate her coming to help me out and realize it was not the easiest time.

I’m thankful I found a wonderful babysitter who now watches my toddler while I’m at work. There are a few other kids as well which is so much more fun than being the only kid. They play a lot outside in the mud and water. My toddler is even picking up some Hawaiian words!

Work

I work in an office with a really great team. The island went through a lot prior to my arrival. Two primary care physicians passed away (both having had long careers and large patient panels on the island). Two left the office to move back to Oahu (I came as a replacement for one of them). A primary care nurse practitioner also retired at that time. For an island of 7000 people, to lose 5 primary care providers was a lot. The one doc who passed away and was in private practice probably had a patient panel of 2500-3000 people himself. So my first couple of months were spent absorbing a lot of his patient panel into our office while also covering the panel of the doctor that moved away.

Thankfully, my appointment times are all 30 or 60 minutes slots. That is a real luxury as many of my colleagues would attest to. Even so, when I’m not actively seeing patients, I have a bunch of paperwork, orders, and coordination of care that keep me busy. I’ve continued with my four-day work week and don’t plan on returning to a 5-day work week anytime soon. It is such a wonderful work-life balance that I am grateful I can have.

The patients have all been absolutely lovely. Unlike many patient encounters on the mainland where you feel like patients merely use you to get what they want, patients here are truly grateful that I am on their island helping out and it’s a much more collaborative approach than I’ve experienced elsewhere. I think a big contributor to this is the beautiful Hawaiian culture that thrives on this island. They have such a wonderful respect for their kupuna (elders) and a sense of community.

Community

At first, we were rather isolated. The weeks looked pretty much the same. Go to work for four days, and be home with Karoline and my toddler for three days during which we would grocery shop and hit up the beach. But there wasn’t much interaction beyond that.

Thankfully, over time, I have built up a community of people. I’m not extremely close with anyone but I have made friends with neighbors, patients, and co-workers. Through one neighbor in particular (thank you Karoline for the initial connection), I have met many wonderful people who live on the island. We’ve had a few organized group dinners. I’ve been invited to patients’ homes and graduation parties. I’ve hosted a dinner myself too. So though it is mostly my toddler and I who spend time together, there is always a little event here or there to mix things up.

Cost of Living

The cost of living here is horrendous. Groceries are the most expensive I’ve ever seen them. I will easily spend $150 on not really that much. A watermelon costs $10-20 dollars depending on the size. I’ve seen a container of strawberries for $16! A big bag of chips will cost you at least $8. A packet of butter is easily $10. It’s insane. How anyone affords to live here, I do not know. I am privy to the fact that many share fruits and veggies among themselves that they harvest in their yards. I myself have an avocado connection and many patients have brought me mangos. But even so, all the things you can’t grow yourself (and are imported to the island) will cost you a pretty penny. Shockingly, even pineapples grown in Hawai’i cost over $8! It’s just wild.

I make my own soymilk. I initially was not able to find organic unsweetened soymilk. So instead, I ordered organic soybeans on Amazon and made the milk myself. It’s definitely not as creamy or tasty as the store-bought kind but it does the trick for cereal, cooking, and baking. I also made my own coconut yogurt for a while using probiotic capsules. It is not easy finding vegan alternatives. There are a few alternative meat options in the freezer section but two Beyond burgers will cost you $14. I mainly miss soy yogurt and tempeh/seitan. I do plan on trying my hand at my own soy yogurt one of these days.

Traveling Adventures

Traveling to and from the island is truly adventurous. Since the pandemic, there is only one airline that services the island, Mokulele Airlines. Funny enough, Mokulele means plane in Hawaiian, so it’s the plane airlines lol. Anyways, they might also just be the worst airline I’ve experienced. The pilots and staff have always been friendly so I don’t want to throw any shade at them. The issue lies with the schedules.

I have flown with them MANY times since being here (again, my only option) and I don’t think I’ve had a single flight leave on schedule. I’ve had several flights canceled, a flight moved ahead by 3 hours (sorry, I couldn’t leave work early), moved to different days, or delayed with no information given as to when we might leave and spent 5 hours at the airport with a toddler (so fun) before we left late at night. And all of these come without the benefits the big airlines give you. I’ve had to pay for my own hotels in Honolulu because we missed our connecting flight. I’ve gotten vouchers for flights that were canceled but not refunds. It’s as if they know they are the only option and couldn’t care less.

Every trip with them is a gamble. I’ve had appointments in Honolulu that I would fly out two days in advance and spend money on a hotel or Airbnb just to make sure I was there for the appointment. Oh, and they are so expensive! A round-trip flight to Maui (a 20 min flight) or Honolulu (a 35 min flight) costs $250 per person! The ferry that used to go between Maui and Molokai stopped service many years ago. So Mokulele is literally the only commercial way off the island.

Island Hopping

My aunt and uncle came to Hawaii for several weeks back in March. We met up with them on three of the islands on my days off.

Maui

Our first weekend with them was on Maui. Mokulele was doing the most so we ended up actually catching a private boat to and from Maui. My office staff really came through and found a boat with some room on it for us. It ended up being a bit cheaper than what the flight had cost and we got a nice 45-minute ocean boat ride out of it. We even saw several whales along the way. So although it was stressful to get it organized, it ended up being a cool experience.

We landed in the historic harbor of Lahaina. If you’ve been following the news at all lately, you’ll know that it tragically and horrifically all burnt to the ground this past week due to a wildfire fueled by a hurricane over 600 miles away from us. My heart is broken for the people of Maui who have lost their lives, their homes, their communities, and the life they knew. Lahaina was one of the cutest towns I experienced on any of the islands and it seems incomprehensible that it no longer exists. I’ll be posting some ways to donate to help those affected at the end of this post.

After grabbing something to eat and strolling through Lahaina, we drove to the peak of Maui, Haleakala. It holds the world record for the highest climb in the shortest distance- 10,023 feet in a mere 32 miles! The landscape changes several times as you drive up over the clouds to reach the peak.

The following day, we drove along the Road to Hana. There are many attractions along the way. It’s more about the journey than the destination. We stopped by the rainbow bamboo and the botanical garden. There are a few waterfalls to see along the way. We also made a stop at Hamoa Beach before heading back to the AirBnB through rugged terrain.

Kauai

To get to Kauai from Molokai, we first had to fly to Honolulu and then catch a Hawaiian Airlines flight to Kauai. As you probably already guessed, Mokulele royally screwed up this itinerary too. This is when we waited at the airport for 5 hours, only to have to get a hotel for the night in Honolulu and rebook our Hawaiian flight (for a fee as well) to the next day.

When we finally did make it, we had a great time. Kauai is a very beautiful lush island. We mainly spent our time on various beaches. My uncle and I took a helicopter ride around the island and got to see the waterfalls featured in Jurrasic Park. It was a wonderful experience that my toddler was able to join for free and slept through the entire ride.

The farmers market we visited had a lot of cool artists and beautiful flowers. The island had a bit of an artsy hippy vibe to it that I really appreciated.

Big Island

I was under the assumption that Big Island was going to be even more big-city than Honolulu. I was so wrong lol. The island is just that, it is very big but the towns are small. The two main cities are Kona on the west and Hilo on the east. We had our AirBnB on the Kona side. It’s a bit more in the mountains, cooler and wetter than in the east. Kona has an old hippy vibe and is filled with a lot of great shops and restaurants. Hilo gave off an old-time vibe with a bit of art deco flair. We took a trip to see the volcano. At the time, it was quiet, several weeks later in June, it was the active volcano in the news.

Overall, the big island had a very chill aura to it and wasn’t quite as touristy as Maui and Kauai are.

I really only got a small glimpse into each island over just a few days we were there. Given how expensive flights and especially AirBnB’s are though, I don’t have plans to return to the other islands for visits while I’m out here. I wouldn’t mind working a gig in Kauai sometime though, I’d like to explore that place some more.

Homeland

We took a trip to Germany in June. It was a long way to get there. We were there for two weeks and I did nothing else but see friends and family and host a family reunion. I never dealt with jet lag before becoming a mom. I just never had it. But now I get jet-lagged by proxy because my toddler is jet-lagged. It took about 5 days to get into a normal rhythm going there and almost a week when we came back. If I ever were to go to Europe from Hawaii again, it would have to be for at least a month.

What’s up ahead?

My original contract was only until the end of July but I extended it through the end of the year once childcare was established. I recently moved into a new house. After six months, I needed a change of scenery. I liked our first spot but I itch for change after 6 months. Our new place is actually the home of one of the friends we made. He is on the island for 6 months and on the mainland for the other 6. It’s a really beautiful house with a killer view of the ocean, a pool, an in-home movie theater, and plenty of extra space for guests.

My first guests were scheduled to arrive tomorrow but due to the events on Maui, had to cancel their plans. I was really bummed although I completely understood and agree with their decision. Although I’ve made friends here, I was REALLY looking forward to seeing some of my own people again and sharing the experience here with them. If I’m lucky, my next guest may be coming in October but nothing is booked yet. I’ll be headed back to Ohio and Rochester, NY next month for a quick week-long visit to family. Hawaii is really far away from anywhere else, so even a trip to the Midwest is an odyssey.

The above images were captured by the talented local photographer Arinna (ariannapaikii.com)

Support Maui

The wildfires on Maui were devastating. What those people are going through and what they experienced, if they were fortunate enough to survive, is unimaginable. I see Lahaina, or what used to be Lahaina, from our house. We had strong winds and a power outage for a few hours. Beyond a pool, deck, and yard that needed to be cleaned up, we are ok. There was a brush fire on the west side of Molokai that the firefighters were able to extinguish relatively quickly. What happened on Maui easily could’ve happened here and that is just terrifying. I was expecting so many different consequences from a hurricane but a wildfire was not on my radar. Since I am not physically on Maui and don’t have any items to donate with me, I have been donating money to causes that are helping people get what they need.

Please consider donating something. Even if it’s $5, that helps. Here are some links to make it easy for you.

Maui Food Bank

Hawaii Red Cross

Together Rising

Mahalo (thank you) for your support!

That is it for now. Take care and stay safe everyone!

mfg

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Happiness, Locum, Travel

Cows, Water, Flights & Family

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Dairyland

I’m into my last three weeks of work at my assignment in Wisconsin. It certainly hasn’t felt like 5 months altogether. This may be due to the fact, and I’m sure this won’t surprise regular readers, that we were quite busy. If we weren’t off to a different state or country, we were spending weekends visiting friends in Madison, Milwaukee, and Chicago.

I work in a rural family practice with another physician and a nurse practitioner. As a locum, my schedule tends to fill up on the day of or a few days out. These visits are often same-day complaints, pre-op evaluations, ED follow-ups, and such. Things people would ideally see their primary care provider for but they are both essentially booked out for months! It is a different mind game seeing these sorts of visits on a regular basis vs typical primary care follow-up visits. I have a few patients I’ve seen on a regular basis, but the majority of patients are new to me every visit. It is all part of the gig as a locum, however, and I don’t mind it. Keeps things interesting!

I work with two medical assistants I’ve gotten to know quite well over the past few months. The rest of the staff consists of really lovely nurses, medical assistants, radiology techs, lab techs, and front desk workers. The feeling of familiarity amongst the staff was evident from the first day there. We have many laughs throughout the day.

On my drive home
View from the beach on the lake
Beautiful fall in Wisconsin

The substitute teacher of doctors

Many patients have asked if I would consider staying. The administration did that same early on. I make a conscious effort to be clear that I live a nomadic lifestyle and that keeps me sane. The physician I took over for, left primary care to work in urgent care for more of a work-life balance. There is another locum coming in after me to cover the first half of the year before their new hire starts permanently. I feel the era of having the same family physician for 20+ is over but you can still find the occasional doc that has stayed in the same practice over decades. There are a lot of factors that contribute to this trend. Burnout is a big problem among them. The locum lifestyle definitely helps me avoid burnout because I always have a new adventure to look forward to!

Time: A man-made construct

Mausi has done astoundingly well for all the time zones I took them through over the past few months. There have been no “up all night” or “sleeping all day” despite time differences of 12 hours. The kid is made for traveling and I am pumped about it. We’ve also visited the cock pit of two of our flights and run up and down airplane aisles countless times.

September

We started the month off in Waupaca, spending labor day with family and friends. Mausi even went down the water slide a few times…with my help, obviously. The following weekend, Mausi and I hopped over to Cleveland to see my mom and partake in my citizenship interview and civics exam (aced it). By the end of the month, my mother came to Wisconsin to hang out for 9 days.

Always finds buttons to explore
Took a lake cruise to see some of the estates
One of the fancy estates on the lake
Madison Farmer’s Market
Hot-Spicy-Cheesey-Bread at the Farmer’s Market!
Visiting some local farms
Nearby Apple orchard
Wisconsin kiddo with cows and Oshkosh B’gosh overalls

October

The first weekend of October, Mausi and I flew down to New Orleans to visit our dear friend and former Eugene nanny and her two boys. At that time, she was far along in her pregnancy and I helped get stuff done around the apartment to prepare for baby number 3’s arrival a few weeks later. Mausi was ecstatic to see her two friends again. It was a quick trip but filled with fun.

The following weekend, I was lucky enough to witness my best friend from middle school/high school get married. I missed a lot of my high school friends’ weddings because I was in medical school in Germany. Then I missed a lot of my med school friends’ weddings because I was in residency in Ohio. I’m so happy I was able to partake in his!

4/5 of the Fab Five
Fixing the groom’s bowtie

I officially became an American citizen! The judge presiding over the ceremony held a very beautiful speech about the importance of immigrants in a country like the USA. Lovely to hear, especially after the rhetoric of the previous president and his administration.

Personal record

Toward the end of the month, Mausi and I went on our longest airplane ride together. It was a direct flight from Chicago to Delhi, India. The outbound flight lasted about 13.5 hours, and the return flight about 15 hours. On the way there, I was given a new seat assignment during check-in with the hope that I would have a whole row for us. Unfortunately, when it came time to board, we ended up having someone seated in the aisle seat.

Mausi, being their usual curious self, was all over the place; pulling anything that moved, pushing all the buttons, and climbing on the tray table. The travel busy board and busy cube I had purchased the week prior provided a few solid minutes of entertainment. Mausi did end up sleeping for a good 6 hours. I laid them across the two seats we had and tried to position myself around them. That was minimally effective and quite uncomfortable. After trying that for 4 hours, I eventually just laid down on the ground and slept for 2 hours. That was enough for me not to feel like a zombie when we landed.

India – Delhi & Diwali

We were met at the airport by my boyfriend and his son. At their place, we were lovingly greeted and welcomed to their home by his parents and the house staff. We ate delicious home-cooked food and I got a proper nap while Mausi explored the house and had many willing eyes watch her. That evening, we all went to a neighbor’s place for a Diwali celebration.

Diwali is the Indian festival of lights. It’s celebrated by many religions and is one of the most important holidays in Hinduism. We got all dressed up in traditional Indian outfits and ate way too much food. Mausi met a few children at the party and played with them essentially the entire night, just coming to check if I was still around from time to time.

India – Goa

The next day, following our Puja (prayer) for Diwali, my boyfriend, his son, Mausi and I were off to the airport. We caught our flight to Goa. Goa is a coastal town about halfway down the west coast of India. Portuguese architecture is prominent due to the Portuguese history of colonizing the place. My boyfriend’s sister, brother-in-law, and nephew joined us in Goa. Our routine for the next several days was simple; wake up, get ready, go eat a delicious breakfast, and then spend the rest of the day on one of the various beaches.

So well behaved during the Puja
Looking at crabs

I even drove us home at night three times. For those who don’t know, they drive on the left in India. They also drive like crazy people! Very different driving culture than in America or Germany. We survived, no cows were hit (they like to just stand in the middle of the street sometimes), and no traffic tickets were issued.

After five days, it was back to Delhi. We only had the last day to run a few last-minute errands because our flight left at 2:15 AM.

Paging Dr. Hasselhof

While at the airport, it took forever to get checked in. I made it to the border control officer at the time boarding had started. And I arrived at the airport three hours before our flight time. Three stalls down, a man started having a seizure. Luckily, two others caught him and lowered him to the ground. I saw this all unfold and told the border control officer that I am a physician and should go check on that man. The officer was not impressed and told me to wait. Again, I pressed that time is of the essence and that I need to help keep that man safe. The officer continued to be unimpressed.

Finally, someone in the security line shouted out “is there a doctor here!?”. I raised my hand and exclaimed that the officer wasn’t letting me pass. Finally, a supervisor came and waved me through. I lifted Mausi out of the carrier and handed them to the supervisor.

How to help someone having a seizure

The main goal in taking care of a seizing person is to keep them safe. That means ensuring the area around them is clear, cushioning their head so they don’t hit it on a hard surface, and protecting their airway by positioning them on their side. Do NOT wedge something in their mouth. We quickly laid coats under the man’s head and positioned him correctly. I tried obtaining some medical history from his travel companion. He mentioned issues with low blood sugar but couldn’t tell me if the man was diabetic. Eventually, a paramedic came with a suitcase filled with medical supplies. At this point, the man had stopped seizing and was slowly coming to. He was still very confused, as was expected. He was surely even more confused when the seemingly only caucasian person at the airport was now hovering over him asking him questions.

Gotta go!

I stayed long enough for the paramedic to check that his vitals and blood sugar were stable (I had sent someone to fetch apple juice after the comment about low blood sugar in case we needed it). Vitals and blood sugar were good. Then it was time for me to go catch my flight. Luckily, the supervisor had me expedited to the front of the line at security but I still had to run, with a toddler strapped to my chest, to make it on our flight.

November

We were home for a mere 12 days before hopping on a flight to Germany. My cousin turned 40 and the whole family was coming together to celebrate. The week flew by because there were so many people to see. Anytime I am in Germany, there are a number of people I must see every visit. In the town I went to medical school in, there is a group of 6 people I do my all to see while there. Once again, I saw them all! The second half of the week was especially busy because everyone was arriving for the festivities. It was a good time.

Breakfast is my favorite meal of the day in Germany

My older sister came with her husband and kids. None of the extended family had met her kids before. Her youngest and Mausi are only ten days apart in age and are like two peas in a pod when they get together. Pushing them around in my sister’s double stroller made it look like I had twins!

The week involved family complexities I won’t go into detail on this platform. But, I will say, I think it was a very successful week for my family overall.

Now, we are back in Wisconsin and I have been busy over the weekend packing and organizing. The following two weekends are already planned out before we have the last weekend to do the final packing. Then it’ll be off to Ohio and Rochester, NY for Christmas before we head back to India for a three-week vacation with my mother and her fiance.

So, where to next?

It’s official! I will be headed to Molokai, Hawaii for 6 months starting in February! I’m beyond excited about this next assignment. If you have any tips for the island of Molokai or any of the other Hawaiian islands, please send them my way. I plan on spending the majority of the time on Molokai and just enjoying island life. However, one weekend out of the month, I’d like to hop to one of the other islands. My younger sister will be joining me for three months to be Mausi’s nanny. I’ll have to find someone local to take over once she leaves, or open it up here for applications for a three-month nanny stint 😉

I hope everyone in the States had a lovely Thanksgiving with family and friends.

Stay healthy!

mfg

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Locum, Motherhood, Travel

A Tale of Three Months, Four Time Zones, and Five Countries

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Oh gee…I certainly was not planning on waiting 3.5 months before posting again. I know I sound like a broken record since I start off almost every post these days with an apology that it’s been so long. I was posting every two weeks almost consistently when I first started out and was pregnant. It should come as no surprise, especially to the parent readers, that a toddler requires a lot of attention, however. And honestly, I will always pick spending time with my child over engaging in social media. This time is so limited and so precious.

Also, instead of using “my child”, I think I’ll henceforth refer to them as “Mausi”. I continue to want to keep their identity off the internet, but for the sake of more fluid writing and for the sake of not sounding like I’m from a previous century, I’ll go with my nickname for them. But let’s dive in and let me get you caught up on what’s been going on!

June

For the last two months of my assignment in Eugene, we had to relocate to an apartment from the house we had previously lived in. This was known from the beginning as the house was already rented starting in June. The agency found us a 2-bedroom apartment close to the Willamette River. We, unfortunately, didn’t have a playground right down the street from us, but we did have a lovely trail along the river that we visited often.

Abortion is Healthcare.

On June 24th, the day people with a uterus’s constitutional right to bodily autonomy was stripped away, Ally, Mausi, and I attended a protest in Downtown Eugene. It was a peaceful protest and I was happy to see many men in attendance. Frankly, there should have been many more considering how the Supreme Court’s decision to overturn Roe vs Wade affects men too. In this sense, I feel like a broken record here too. The constant injustice we see happening in this country is truly disheartening. The fact that a handful of people get to decide the consequences for the majority of people is scary. They have real power. It is so important that everyone vote and that we elect leaders that will protect the rights of all citizens.

Blushing Blonde moments

Mausi and I spent an afternoon near the Heceta Lighthouse having our pictures taken by a local photographer. I really enjoy finding local photographers everywhere I go to capture moments of Mausi and me. Being a solo mom, there are plenty of pictures on my phone of Mausi, but rarely one where we are together. Having a photoshoot every couple of months makes for a fun way to capture our lives together. It is also a reminder of the places we’ve been.

Silver Falls Park

We finished off the month with a hike in Silver Falls Park. Only a 1.5-hour drive from Eugene, this park has a 7-mile loop that passes 10 waterfalls. We hiked it with another friend of mine with a baby. We’d like to say we made it the whole 7 miles, but then we’d be lying. We did, however, make it about 4.5 miles and passed 7 of the 10 waterfalls. The trail leads behind a few of the falls which were pretty cool. Definitely worth the trip if you find yourself in the area!

July

July and the half of August were several weeks of traveling. After the first week of work, Mausi and I flew to Europe for a two-week trip! The first week of that was the first legit vacation I’ve taken since October of 2019. Sure, there were trips all throughout the years, but they were mainly to Germany, which is like going home, it’s not a vacation in the sense of relaxing and exploring.

Μύκονος

Mausi and I spent a lovely week on the Greek island of Mykonos with my boyfriend. It had been almost 5 years since we were in the same physical space. He and I went on a date during my travels in India in 2017. Sounds crazy, I am aware, but it didn’t feel like we hadn’t seen each other in that long.

We stayed in a nice little boutique hotel just a few minutes’ walk from the beach. We rented a mini cooper convertible for a few days to zip around the very narrow streets of the island. My main touristy objective was to see the windmills that Mykonos is famous for. Mykonos is also known for its glitz, glamour, and party lifestyle. There was no partying for use with Mausi along but I was ok with that. There was an alarming amount of designer handbags to be seen by just about everyone walking around the island. I include myself in this, but in my case, it’s also the only small handbag I own.

There was an Italian restaurant within walking distance of our hotel that served delicious food and was staffed by really friendly people. Honestly, every restaurant we went to was extremely child friendly, and didn’t mind Mausi crawling absolutely everywhere. Often, the waiting staff would even hold on to and play with them while I ate. If you want to do something kind for a mother of a small child, watch their child while they eat their meal. It’s so rare to have an uninterrupted (warm) meal when you’re a mom.

It was a really fun and enjoyable week for our little trio.

Bachelorette Fun and Fancy Pizza

After our island adventure, it was off to Germany to partake in my best friend’s bachelorette festivities. Thankfully, she isn’t one for crazy outfits and silly games. We had a delicious dinner and spent the next day doing a photoshoot and going to a spa. I was really excited to meet some of her good friends that I had only heard of. Our friendship has been strong and thriving since I left Germany in 2015 but I’ve also missed a lot of the day-to-day stuff. I feel much more in the loop now that I know all her other close friends.

Between the bachelorette weekend and the wedding weekend, I crammed in as many get-togethers with my friends as possible. I also jumped on a night train with Mausi and traveled to Vienna to visit my sister Karoline for two days. I enjoy traveling by night train. The rattling of the train on the tracks is a great way to sleep and I am in a position where I can afford my own cabin now. On previous trips as a medical student, I’d book a spot in the 6-person cabin. At the time, I didn’t mind sharing the space with strangers. I didn’t want to do that with a toddler though.

Karoline works in a fun, hip pizzeria as the pizza decorator extrordinaire. We walked all over the city and ate many scrumptious meals together. I adore her and am always so happy to spend time with her. After our short 36-hour visit, we hopped back on the night train and traveled back up north.

Wedding Bells

My best friend’s wedding was a day filled with love, happiness, great conversations, and delicious food. Having missed so many of my friend’s weddings in the past, I would’ve moved mountains to attend hers. Lucky for me, she got married after I finished residency so no mountain moving was necessary.

Hello again and goodbye!

We flew back to Eugene for my last four days of work before heading to Wisconsin. I had a really great time in Eugene. I definitely did not see and do all that I planned to. My coworkers were such a joy to work with. It felt like hanging out with a group of friends every day. The work was not always easy. For the most part, it was actually complex. The patients I cared for were complex both medically and socially. There were a lot of social factors that came into consideration compared to previous jobs. Even “just” seeing 8 patients a day was a lot due to their individual complexities.

I had some great patient relationships build up in the 7 months I was there. For several, I felt like I made a real positive impact on their lives. I was even gifted a thoughtful gift by one of my patients. He had used the box that his medications come in to craft a keepsake box. I’ll have to take a picture of it and share some time (it’s currently in my new office space). I found certainly consider returning to the Lane County Clinics in the future for another few months.

August

As if traveling from Eugene to Europe back to Eugene and then to Wisconsin wasn’t enough of a timezone whirlwind, we traveled the first week of August as well. This trip was originally planned in March when none of my other travels had been planned yet and I felt like I needed a break and some adventure between jobs. But before we jumped on our international flight, we made a pit stop in Waupaca, WI so that I could attend my high school best friend’s wedding shower.

Back in High School, I was friends with the “Fab Five”. Not to be confused with the Fab Five of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. (My fashion and hair would’ve been much better had that been the case.) Although I was with them a lot, the Sensational Six didn’t have the same ring to it…and I was the only girl in the group. Bryant, Ryan, Kyle, Chase, and Caleb were all back together for the wedding shower and I was thrilled. Zach, an underclassman during High School, an admirer of the Fab Five, and a good friend of ours, was also there.

After that short visit, we were off to Panama!

Panama City

We were only in Panama for 4 full days plus the two travel days on each end. It wasn’t a lot of time but we managed to see a variety of things. We stayed in Casco Viejo while in Panama City. It was built in 1673 after pirates almost completely destroyed the former historical center of Panama Viejo. It was a mix of old and new. Some buildings were filled with fancy restaurants or boutique hotels. Others were just the facade and completely gutted on the inside. We ate some yummy food and did a bit of shopping.

I bought myself, my mother, and my boyfriend each a Panama hat. Panama hat is a bit of a misnomer as they actually come from Ecuador. During the Gold Rush, people would travel from South America through the Panama Canal onwards to California and often bought a hat in Panama to shield themselves from the sun. When asked where they had gotten their hats from, they’d answer Panama. And voila, the Panama hat was named. The really nice thing about the toquilla straw hat is that it can be rolled up and packed for travel. No more filling half a suitcase with a hat or trying to awkwardly wear it on the plane.

Jungle Living

After two days of wandering around Casco Viejo, we headed north towards the coast. Because it seemed silly not to, we stopped by the Panama Canal Locks at Miraflores along the way. If I hadn’t been aware of the monumental engineering feet the locks are, this would’ve been a rather boring stop. However, knowing a bit of the history and the impact that place has on the world economy, put it into perspective and made me appreciate what I was looking at.

We spent two nights in an AirBnB hosted by a very lovely French couple. They spoke French and Spanish and a little bit of English. I speak English and German with a little bit of Spanish and French. Nonetheless, we had pleasant conversations and a great time. Getting to their place was an adventure. We used google maps until Portobelo and then followed several directions sent to us by the host. We counted miles and kept an eye out for the structures that signaled to us that it was time to take a turn. Eventually, we found the entrance to their property. We continued from the gate to about 50 m from the house in their 4-wheel drive car before trekking the remaining distance up a steep muddy hill. Totally worth the trip. Our room overlooked their luscious garden and the ocean.

Island Time

Our hosts took us out on their Waverunner to show us the islands in the area. We zipped past the island Shakira apparently likes to vacation at. We slowly rode through the mangrove trees and what is known as the tunnel of love. One turn was taken a bit too sharply and we were all in the water. Luckily, we could easily stand where we had fallen off.

Ultimately, we decided to spend our day on Isla Mamey. Supposedly, the island used to belong to Pablo Escobar. I’m not really sure what constitutes “used to belong to” or how long it’s been since it was his, but there was a huge skull face etched into the ground. I wasn’t able to find any connection between Escobar and Isla Mamey online though, so maybe it’s just a good story they tell visitors.

Regardless, Isla Mamey will hold a special place in my heart since it’s the place Mausi took their first steps! Way to pick a memorable spot, kiddo!

The beauty of travel

On our last day in Panama, we went to a restaurant that had a great online menu for brunch. I am a sucker for a good brunch. We were the first to arrive. When we reviewed the menu, I was a bit disappointed that it didn’t include all the fun stuff I had seen online. Nonetheless, we stayed and ordered some waffles and eggs. We were the only ones there until about halfway through when a couple came and sat near us.

They received their menus and were trying to decide what they wanted. While verbalizing their options, I realized that we had not received the same menu. Their menu did have the fun stuff I read about online. At this point, it was too late for us though since we had ordered. Mausi, as they do, quickly made friends with our table neighbors and this led to a conversation amongst us all. And what a wonderful conversation it was! I think we spent another hour there just chatting!

Kate (an award-winning author) and her husband Dave have been traveling the world since 2013, house-sitting in various locations. They were both so interesting to talk to. We definitely connected on our desire and need to continue traveling, mixing up our surroundings, and not being in one place for too long. I could see myself doing something similar in the far future if house sitting is still a thing. What a great way to work/retire/live. She blogs about it on her blog Living the Journey.

This is what I love about traveling. What I’ve missed about traveling. Meeting new people with interesting life stories. People’s stories fascinate me and I have met so many cool people on my travels. I look forward to hopefully many more similar events as traveling becomes more frequent again.

Dairyland

After our short Panama excursion, we were back in Wisconsin. I’ll save the rest for the next post, which will hopefully happen before my contract here is done (hehe), but we’ve covered so much already. Props to you if you’ve made it this far. Thanks for hanging in there, I know it was a lot.

Hope everyone is well and healthy.

mfg

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Mother Nature, Motherhood, Travel

Emotional Rollercoaster

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Well, after being a bit smug the last few weeks about how I hadn’t had Covid yet despite being exposed to it from essentially day 1 of the pandemic (and thinking I might be one of the lucky “immune” people), Mother Nature humbled me last week when I tested positive last Thursday. I’m fully vaccinated so my symptoms were luckily really mild. I tested myself due to a scratchy throat. With the current requirements, I haven’t been allowed to return back to work yet. I won’t be back to my normal schedule until next week. This unexpected forced vacation has allowed me to get some work done that I haven’t had the time to do otherwise. Finally getting an update here is one of those things.

April showers bring May flowers and somehow we are already in June?

It has been almost two months since I last posted. The weather has continuously gotten nicer in the Eugene area. We moved out of our house and into an apartment for the last two months of the assignment here. It is a bummer to have left that neighborhood due to it being so walkable and a park just down the street. The new location is located near the Willamette river though and we are able to take beautiful strolls along the river. Still on the lookout for our nearest playground.

We flew to Ohio to celebrate my baby’s first birthday and for me to attend my co-residents wedding. As my facebook friends may have also noticed, I’m now in a relationship. My facebook relationship status hasn’t changed since the day I created my account many, many years ago. So, it’s a big deal for me. There have been a lot of great moments for me over the past two months.

Guest Cake
Smash Cake
Some of my co-residents and attendings

Unfathomable events

But there have also been absolutely heartbreaking moments. The shootings in Buffalo and Uvalde tear my heart to shreds. As do the many other shootings that have happened since but don’t get as much media coverage. These occurrences make it harder and harder for me to justify being the United States. I have become so aware and alert of my surroundings. I look for my nearest exit when I enter a building. But even if I were to leave, that doesn’t help keep the people still here safe. I believe the US could do so much better, be so much better. If only money didn’t corrupt humans so much. It’s unfathomable to me that we as humans can witness 19 children and their teachers slaughtered in a classroom and not change anything about the laws that helped facilitate it from happening.

Before I was even able to get around to uploading this post another horrible shooting has taken place. This one also hits me hard personally. A fellow physician was gunned down at a medical facility in Oklahoma by a patient that blamed him for his ongoing pain. The elementary school shooting shattered my heart and made me fearful for children everywhere in this country. As I intend on having my children go to school abroad, its one less fear I have for my own children. But I have a niece and nephew here in the states and friends with children. So it still is a fear that effects me personally.

The murder of a physician and staff members over dissatisfaction on the patients part solidifies a deep fear in me for my own safety. I try really hard to help my patients. I will try to find ways to help them and feel less pain. Sometimes the safest and recommended option is not what the patient wants and they get angry. Weaning a patient off of addictive and harmful medications is the right thing to do (while obviously working on the underlying issue and finding other, healthier alternatives). But when patients get angry, there is a part of me that is terrified they might try to retaliate. I am hyper-aware of my surroundings when I’m entering and exiting my places of work.

I shouldn’t have to feel this way when all I am trying to do is help people. Children shouldn’t have to fear for their lives going to school to obtain an education. Black people shouldn’t fear for their lives going grocery shopping. No one should have to fear for their life just living their life not hurting anyone else.

The ongoing war in the Ukraine. I know the news cycle has swabbed out coverage for other issues, but horrific and utterly unnecessary damage continues to be done to the people and their country.

None of these situations are natural disasters or forces of nature we can’t control. They are deliberate decisions by human beings and that makes it that much more heart retching to me. People choose to not love and help one another. It must be such a sad position to be in to willingly hurt another human being or help facilitate that hurt. Were these people not loved as children? It’s the only explanation I can think of. Humans aren’t born evil.

Adventures

I don’t really have a clever way to transition from such dark topics, so I won’t try. I’ll just continue on to share some of the beautiful places we visited over the past few weeks.

Eugene Saturday Market

I’ve written about this market before. We’ve been back a few times. The opening weekend was definitely the busiest. The subsequent times were less visited but nonetheless fun to attend. We also made it a few streets further north to the Farmer’s Market. I have a hard time visiting a farmer’s market and not buying fresh flowers. There is just something magical about a fresh bouquet of flowers. 😉 We also met the “bubble guy” and had a blast taking some fun pictures.

Sahalie Falls

My local nanny, her two sons, Ally, my baby and I all took a road trip to see the Sahalie falls in April. The plan was to hike a few miles and see a couple waterfalls. As we ascended into the mountains, however, the snow started accumulating height. The parking lot wasn’t plowed so everyone parked along the road. The walk to the viewing area of the first waterfall was an adventure in and of itself. Ally, who is still getting used to how snow works, took a few tumbles navigating the snow and ice. Many years of Wisconsin winters in my life allowed me to navigate the trail well enough not to fall with a baby strapped on my back. Although we only made it to the first fall, it was worth it.

Redwoods

I drove to Medford with my baby for a weekend to visit a friend and explore the Californian Redwood forest with her. These trees are massive. I felt like I was in a Jurassic Park movie just waiting for a velociraptor to appear. The grandiosity of it all doesn’t even really hit until you leave the area and start seeing “normal” sized trees again. The weather was amazing and the lighting in the forrest was magical. We did a quick pitstop on the coast before returning to Medford. What a great area to live with the Redwood forrest and a beach so close to one another.

Crater Lake

This location has been on the top of my Oregon list since we got here. I’ve been waiting for warmer weather so that more of the roads would open up. Despite going in late May, there were still winter weather condition and closures happening. A friend of mine from Ohio, also a SMBC (single mother by choice) and my baby nurse during my labor and delivery experience, was in town visiting with her child. She really wanted to see Crater Lake as well so we figured this would be a great time to check it off both of our lists. Despite there still being snow, and I mean A LOT of snow, the limited views we did have were well worth the 3 hour one-way trip. When there aren’t winter weather conditions at that altitude, more access roads are available as well as the many trails in the area.

I would definitely like to return in the future to check out some of the trails and see the lake from different view points. My aunt was the one who first told me about Crater Lake. She had seen it mentioned on a show in Germany that was discussing different shades of blue. Apparently, Crater Lake’s blue color is quite unique. The water in the crater is from precipitation. It doesn’t have streams feeding into it. That combined with the depth of the lake and the way the sunlight refracts in it, creates a very beautiful blue color.

South Jetty Beach

I can never get enough of the coast and ocean. My friend from Ohio and I took the babies to the beach one day and it was wonderful. It was a bit chillier than I expected it would be (I should have opted for something longer than shorts). We had the beach all to ourselves for most of the time. It was really low tide so the beach extended far out. This provided plenty of crawling/walking around opportunities for the kiddies. Nature’s sandbox is a good place to be.

Emotional Rollercoaster

These last few weeks have really been a ride for my emotions. I don’t believe you are living if you aren’t feeling. Life has its ups and downs. You can’t appreciate the highs if you don’t experience the lows. Having that emotional complexity makes us human. It’s not always easy. Especially experiencing the lows. Whenever the lows occur, I first allow myself to experience them. Then, I fairly quickly try to figure out what the low can teach me. Often, I adjust my priorities. Especially if the low is inflicted upon me by another human. I don’t hold grudges. I’m not mean. I don’t retaliate. I adjust my priorities. And sometimes, that means that person may have fallen lower on my ranking of priorities. I can’t control how people act but I can change my reaction to it.

No one has personally hurt me recently. Those comments are meant in a more general, life-view sort of way. On the contrary, I’ve received a lot of loving energy personally in recent weeks. But I’m also a very empathetic person and the recent events around the world weigh on me. The senseless gun violence, the loss of life, the attack on people’s right to bodily autonomy and abortion laws… it all affects me. As a woman, as a mother, as a physician…and above all, as a human.

I’m not naive enough to believe all these issues will be solved quickly. If anything, they will have less media coverage to make room for the next big story. The sadness, anger and hurt will seemingly fade and it won’t resurface until the next big tragedy. I hope I’m wrong. I hope that this time, something good will actually happen. As the German saying goes “Die Hoffnung stirbt zuletzt”… Hope dies last. So I will continue to hope and find ways to make a positive impact in this world and help protect and heal my fellow human beings and our planet.

mfg

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Happiness, Locum, Mother Nature

From Land to Shining Sea

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Oh my! The last month was busy! Before I dive into what I’ve been exploring lately, I want to first address the horrifying things happening in Ukraine right now.

War has always been horrible. There are constantly wars and conflict happening around the world and often times, we are ignorant to them. To a certain extent, we have to be. If we knew about every human suffering occurring in the world, we’d all constantly be depressed and distraught. So we focus on news and events in our more immediate surroundings. When horrible things then happen to people that easily could also be us, it hits harder and deeper.

Since I’ve become a mother, my emotions are on steroids. I love harder, I grieve deeper, and I empathize more intensely. Where I used to see mothers and children of the world suffering and would feel terribly saddened by it, now I see myself and my baby in the women and children being bombed in the Ukraine and fleeing for their lives and its heart wrenching. I walk a fine line between staying informed and protecting my mental health. Since I’m on a contract right now, I can’t be in Germany helping the refugees. So instead, I am supporting various humanitarian aid charities that are helping the people of Ukraine. Hopefully, you’ve been able to do the same.

The clever ways people have been helping the Ukrainian people has been proof of human ingenuity. I’ve seen people booking AirBnB’s in Ukraine with obviously no intention of staying there but rather getting financial aide directly to those Ukrainians. I’ve read about information being shared as reviews on various sites because the Russian government is censoring social media.

It is absolutely despicable that one man can cause so much trauma, heartache, death and destruction. I don’t know how, but this war needs to stop.

Coming to America

A few days after my last post, my AuPair Ally arrived from South Africa. The first few days were spent giving her some orientation and letting her adjust with the jet leg. 10 days after her arrival, my aunt and uncle visited from Germany for 10 days. Thus, the last few weekends were rather busy and I enjoyed them fully. We initially wanted to take a trip to Crater Lake. My aunt had seen a TV show discussing blue colors around the world and Crater Lake was mentioned as being particularly beautiful. It’s still winter season here in Oregon however and the road circumventing the lake is closed at this time. We had a great alternative weekend adventure instead!

Let me share some of the fun things we’ve been up to!

Spencer Butte

The second day Ally was here, our local nanny (and now good friend of ours) took us on a hike up Spencer Butte. It’s located a short drive outside of Eugene. There is a steep ascent and a gradual one. We took the steep way up. My nanny and I each packed a baby and Ally packed our two backpacks. The ascent was not a walk in the park. It had rained a bit before we started our hike, so the paths were a slightly muddy at times. There was also a bit of boulder climbing involved but it was a lot of fun and provided some amazing views. We even saw a full rainbow once at the top!

McCredie Hot Springs

On her second weekend here, Ally, my baby and I drove an hour southeast of Eugene to take a dip in the McCredie hot springs. This was Ally’s first time seeing snow! There were a few pools available. We shared one with just 4 other people. Baby loved it! They love bath time so this was a special treat.

Sweet Creek Falls

The first stop on our weekend tour with my aunt and uncle was at Sweet Creek Falls. Located about 1h15 west of Eugene and on the way to Florence, is where you’ll find the beautiful forest and water falls. The hike was easy and took us through lush greenery up along the river to the waterfalls. The water was cold but I can see myself coming back on a hot summer day and splashing around a bit.

Heceta Lighthouse & Cape Perpetua

After a short stop in Florence to visit the marina and grab lunch and coffee, we headed north up the coast. Our first stop was the look out area overlooking the coast with the Heceta Lighthouse in the background. When I was here with my mother, we discovered hundreds of sea lions hanging out directly below us. Unfortunately, none were to be found this time around. So we snapped a few pictures and headed to the Heceta Lighthouse.

The parking lot for the lighthouse is located at sea level across from a beach. To get to the lighthouse, you have to take an uphill walk past the Bed & Breakfast to the lighthouse. From the top, I was able to take some nice pictures of the coast line. The blue, green, gray and white color palette of the nature is right up my alley.

Upon our decent, we spent some time hanging out on the beach and letting baby play in the sand. Afterwards, we drove 20 minutes north and up to the Cape Perpetua Lookout. From here, we could look down on the coast line and watch as the sun started to set. We didn’t stay for the actual sunset because we still had to find a hotel for the night and cellular reception was nonexistent for us where we were. We had intended to visit Yachats as well but decided to continue north to Newport for the night.

Newport

A few miles north of Yachats, I finally had cellular service and was able to look up a motel for us. We headed to the port of Newport to grab dinner. It was already pretty late and restaurants were close to closing. Luckily, the Clearwater restaurant was open longer than the others. It is situated right on the port. The best part was truly what was happening in front of the restaurant on the marina side. The floating docks were filled with sea lions! They were the first thing we heard when we got out of the car. It was dark, so we were only able to see the ones illuminated by the dock lights. It sounded like there were hundreds more hanging out in the dark bay.

The next morning, we grabbed lunch at the Nye Beach Cafe before going on a walk along Nye Beach. The ocean seems to really ebb and flood on this beach. We found beautiful sea anemones (amenonemomne?) amongst the rocks. There are some pretty cool shops in Nye Beach. We stopped by the Blue Pig Bakery for some delicious treats. The bakery is worth visiting even if you don’t have a sweet tooth because every room, nook and cranny is filled with gifts and goodies.

After stuffing my face with a scrumptious cinnamon roll, we headed back to the port where we had been the night before. The port is lined with a lot of shops, many quite unique. We browsed, snacked, and shopped for a while before heading back to Eugene.

Svikki MD

Work has been good. The patients I see have medical issues all across the board. I’ve had a few no-shows (not uncommon for a FQHC- federally qualified health center) which allowed me to catch up on the copious amount of tasks that flood my in basket. The team I work with is really great and I enjoy my time at work.

We are already looking ahead for the remainder of the year. Usually, jobs don’t get confirmed until 2-3 months before the start date. The job I’m currently at was confirmed unusually early and I’ve don’t it again with my next assignment. I’ve also been able to negotiate a pay raise which feels really good. Anecdotally, I’ve experienced women be less direct about pay raises and negotiating. It’s definitely still a work in progress for myself as well but I definitely scored a win this round.

Starting in August, my baby, Ally and I will be headed to…. Wisconsin! Go Badgers! lol

Me circa 2015

I will be working in a town close to Milwaukee, Madison and Chicago. I’m excited to show Ally the state I grew up in and it’ll be nice to be close to so many lovely friends I have in that area. Eugene doesn’t really get any snow, so we will definitely have to prepare Ally for a Wisconsin winter. She saw her first bit of snow here in Oregon but I’m going to blow her mind with a legitimate snow storm in Wisconsin should we have one this year.

So, to all my Wisconsinites, I look forward to seeing you and introducing my baby to you later this year!

mfg

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Locum, Motherhood, Travel

Welcome to Oregon

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Holy moly, time flies! I’d really like to be posting more than once a month (or a month and a half!) and I think it’ll be more likely in the future.

This past month has been exceptionally busy. First, there was enjoying the last few weeks of maternity leave with family and friends in Germany. We celebrated Christmas with some of my aunt’s family by having a nice raclette feast! Shortly thereafter, my aunt and uncle drove us to Frankfurt where we all spent the night before baby and I caught our flight to Ohio.

During our short three days stay in Ohio, we visited my residency program to see everyone. I also had an OBGYN appointment for my Pap smear (make sure you are up to date on your Pap smear, my cervix possessing friends!).

Our journey to Eugene Oregon the next day was a doozy.

Connecting Time – Indefinite

Our journey from Cleveland to Eugene started really early on December 30th. Our flight out of Cleveland was at 6:10 AM (!). The flight to San Fransisco was fine, Baby didn’t sleep much at all but did make friends with the passengers around us. Shortly before landing, I checked the airline app to see if our connecting flight was on time. It was not. Au contraire mon amie! It was CANCELED. Due to staff shortages.

Remember hearing in the news how United had to cancel a bunch of flights between Christmas and New Year. Yeah, mine was one of them.

Once on the ground, I contacted a United agent to see what my next option would be to get to Eugene. The best they could do was put me on standby for a flight at 4:30 PM. Not great, especially since it was only 8:30 AM at the time. All of the flights the next day were only on standby as well. I neither liked my chances nor did I like the idea of being stuck at the airport with a baby for 8 hours. So after some deliberation with my family, I decided to rent a car and drive. Also not ideal with an 8-month-old baby but at least I was getting closer to my destination.

Road Trippin

We were looking at a 540-mile trip ahead of us. It took forever to get out of San Fransisco. Driving over the Golden Gate Bridge somewhat made up for it though. I only made it to Redding, California before booking a motel and spending the night. I don’t typically experience jet lag but I kept us on sort of a wonky schedule in Ohio because we had such an early flight to catch. Now being 3 hours even further behind, we were in bed by 8 PM. However, we then left the motel by 3:30 AM.

The morning drive was adventurous. Once we crossed the Californian border, we were in the mountains. The fog was so thick and it was snowing. At one point, I was only driving 15 mph downhill and hoping my little economy car wouldn’t fail us. Eventually, I started to get hungry and really wondered if there would even be a place to eat since I hadn’t seen an exit in quite some time.

Heaven on Earth

I asked GoogleMaps where the nearest restaurant would be. It suggested a place called Heaven on Earth which was only 20 minutes away. Well, with a name like that, and my options very limited, I decided to give it a try! We left the highway and quickly pulled up to a wood cabin with a big sign that read “Home of the Famous Cinnamon Rolls”. The sun was just starting to rise. We walked in to find cinnamon rolls as big as a plate! A lovely lady seated us. The only other folks there was a table with 4 older gentlemen who all seemed to be cowboys.

The omelet I ordered was exactly what I needed. The open fire made the place very cozy. We chatted a bit with our server and the chef before heading out again for the last 2 hour stretch of our journey. Before dropping off the rental car at the airport, I stopped by the gas station to fill up. I was quickly informed by a nice man that I better not touch the pump or I could be looking at a $1500 fine. … Wait…what? Turns out, you are not allowed to pump your own gas in Oregon and New Jersey. Good to know!

Eugene

I spent New Year’s Eve going to bed around 9 PM. I was in a new city, knew no one, had a baby, and was perfectly content with it all. The following day, we walked around the city a bit and ran some essential errands before picking up my uncle late at night. He flew in from Germany to watch the baby while I went to my first week of work.

My first impressions of Eugene:

  • Weed is omnipresent. There are so many dispensories in and around the downtown area. Holy Grail, Spacebuds, Oregon Weed Oulet… so… many…shops.
  • Homelessness is omnipresent. There are large lots filled with tents. Tents are set up at seemingly random places along the neighborhood. As a co-worker would later let me know, the numbers of homeless people is so high in Eugene due to a combination of skyrocketing rent, strict city expansion laws and liberal policies which make it a more welcoming place. In contrast, in Springfield, a more conservative town, which is literally right next to Eugene, it is illegal to hand anything out of your car window. Apparently its a law to stop people from giving food or drinks to the homeless. Supposedly, other more conservative cities in Oregon give the homeless a one-way ticket to Eugene and tell them they’ll be taken care of here.
  • Kindness is omnipresent. Everyone I have met has been kind. There are countless Black Lives Matter signs in the businesses and “Choose Kindness” signs in the neighborhood.

Svikki MD

My first week at work was all orientation. I work at a community health center. There are several offices throughout Eugene and I was able to shadow at several of them throughout the week. Not only was it nice to shadow providers to get a feeling of how their electronic medical record program works (vastly different than the Epic program I am used to) but it was also nice to shadow them seeing patients. It’s been 9 months since I’ve seen patients. Although I wasn’t afraid of having forgotten how to use a stethoscope, it was nice to ease back into the clinical setting by being a fly on the wall.

Everyone, from the providers to the support staff, really seem to enjoy the work that they do. The patients we see in the clinic are mainly Medicare, Medicaid, uninsured and underserved. They tend to be fairly complex, both medically and socially. However, the people working in the clinics really seem to have a passion for helping these people get the healthcare they deserve.

I was happy to find out that I would be working in a clinic closer to home than the one I originally was told I would be at. Since I was all over the place for orientation week, I was able to stop by at home for lunch a few times. My first week was Monday through Friday. Going forward, I’ll only be working Tuesday through Friday.

My first week of orientation went well and my first week of being back at work went well for Baby too. My uncle did a great job and I really enjoyed having him here with me.

I receive very intense kisses when I get home from work.

Three Day Weekend

I’m so excited to spend our 3-day weekends exploring Oregon. My coworkers have given me some fun suggestions of things to check out. My uncle, the baby, and I spent our first weekend in Portland. I’ll write about that and my first week back seeing patients in the next post (which hopefully will be next weekend…truly, I hope). If you have any suggestions of what I need to see, eat, do, or experience in Oregon, PLEASE let me know! I’m here for 7 months and I want to explore!

mfg

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Motherhood

Let’s talk about Postpartum (Part 1)

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Peanut is now 6 months old and it feels like just yesterday but also oddly really long ago that I was in the postpartum phase of my fertility journey.

As a medical student and resident physician, I did not receive a lot of training about the postpartum period. The postpartum period is generally considered the 6-week timeframe following delivery. I knew the big pointers and things often tested on exams:

  • the difference between Baby Blues and Postpartum Depression
  • vaginal bleeding goes through different phases of coloration
  • the uterus size decreases over several weeks
  • breastfeeding does not necessarily come naturally to the birthing person and/or baby
  • sore nipples if breastfeeding
  • how to monitor baby’s weight gain appropriately

That’s about it. I would venture to say that most of you reading this know about most of those things even if you or your partner haven’t gone through the postpartum period personally.

  • My co-residents/baby doctors visiting us Postpartum Day 1

Learning from experience

I definitely did not feel fully informed/prepared for the recovery time after delivery. All of my knowledge was so generalized. Yes, I knew I would bleed, but for how long? I knew that I would have sore nipples if I was successful with breastfeeding, but for how long? And I figured the vaginal area would hurt after pressing a human out of it, but again, for how long? When would it be ok to start working out again? Which workouts would be best?

I had a great birthing experience, was able to do it without pain medications, but I did have an episiotomy. Every birthing story is unique and I can only speak from my own experience from the singular birth I’ve ever gone through (as the birthing person). So the experience is likely very different for someone who had an epidural or difficult delivery or there were problems with the baby.

Talking to my tribe

Speaking with my friends in Germany who have given birth and following their postpartum journey, I was reminded of how very different the postpartum period is depending on your location. It’s a special feeling speaking with others who have gone through labor and delivery because they can understand and relate so much better than someone who hasn’t. That’s essentially the case with any experience in life though really. That’s why support groups can work so well.

I asked my friends and my Instagram followers to share some of their stories and experiences with me. I want to summarize some of the things they shared over several posts. Additionally, I’d like to highlight some of the differences between a postpartum journey in the USA versus Germany. Finally, I’ll share some of the products birthing people and their partners shared with me which they found particularly helpful during the postpartum period. (I am not receiving any merchandise or financial reward for mentioning any of the products. These are purely recommendations from people who felt it made their postpartum lives a bit easier.)

  • PPD 1
  • PPD 2
  • PPD 3
As you can see, the belly is not gone as soon as the baby is out. I looked about 36w, 33w, and 28w pregnant the three days following the delivery.

Postpartum Surprises

Personally, I didn’t anticipate how hard it would be to just sit down anywhere after my episiotomy. Healing from that was really the only thing I disliked during my postpartum period. Everyone gets instructed on perineal care after delivery even if you don’t have a tear or episiotomy that needed suturing. Essentially every time you use the restroom, you have to flush the area with water to keep it clean. Now imagine a major wound healing in the perineal area. It made walking uncomfortable and sitting comfortably nearly impossible.

Add to that the normal bleeding after delivery. Going to the bathroom was such a process. Changing the blood-drenched padding, waiting for the water to be somewhat warm so you could fill the squeeze bottle with it, flushing the area, patting the area dry, applying the pain-numbing spray, and getting all dressed again, every. single. time.

Poop PSA

Speaking of using the bathroom. Let’s be very frank about pooping after delivery. (Pooping during delivery is totally normal and I assure you neither the nurses nor the doctors care one bit. If you are worried about your partner feeling some type of way about it, maybe reevaluate your choice in a partner) Postpartum pooping is not a joke. My advice to everyone having a delivery… DO NOT FORGET TO TAKE STOOL SOFTENERS! Between the hormonal changes, not drinking sufficient (if any) water during or after delivery, the organs shifting into a new place after the baby is out, and extremely decreased physical movement after the delivery, constipation is nearly unavoidable.

I was very diligent about taking Miralax during my pregnancy. In the hospital, I was given a stool softener. When I arrived back home 24 hours after the delivery,… I forgot to continue taking the Miralax. BIG MISTAKE. I have never been so constipated in my life. I was also worried about the episiotomy wound healing ok while trying to have a bowel movement. If you remember anything from this post, please remember to take your stool softeners after delivery!

  • PPD 6
  • PPD 21
At three weeks postpartum, I still looked 25 weeks pregnant

What surprised the Tribe?

Here are some of the responses I received when I asked, “What surprised you the most about the first few weeks after birth?”

  • How I slept with the light on because I was afraid of everything!
  • How awful breastfeeding is./The struggles relating to breastfeeding./ That breastfeeding is not a given and works right away
  • All the blood. All the belly. And how quickly it went away!
  • The impact of sleep deprivation on every. Single. Area. Of my life
  • How little sleep I actually needed
  • My joints did not feel strong for a long time! They almost felt wore out. Boo!
  • That first post-birth poop. Nothing prepared me for that lol (Remember people, stool softeners are your friend)
  • No time for anything – even though we were two people. Sometimes hardly found time to eat
  • How tired/emotional I felt, how terrified I was of doing something wrong
  • Bladder control after, cramping while nursing, overproduction of milk
  • Crying for no reason!
  • How the baby was emotionless until week 4-6. Cried at birth, but within 10 minutes just quiet and examining.

I can relate.

I could relate to quite a few of these. It took me a few nights to figure out just how much light I needed in the room to sleep and function when the baby was awake. I tried different night lights and having the lights on in the hallway. Eventually, I landed on just having the light from my Owlet base station be enough for me to see in the dark once my eyes adjusted. That is still all the light I have on during the night now.

My breastfeeding experience was rather uncomplicated except for the sore nipples. Oh my. It is quite the transition from not using your nipples and trying to avoid wardrobe malfunctions to having them constantly being used and whipped out in all sorts of settings. I’ve been a rather flat-chested person for most of my life. The engorgement and sudden seemingly Pamela Anderson-sized boobs were an experience. There were definitely a few days where it hurt pretty bad for the first 30-60 seconds when the baby latched on. With time, lots of nipple cream, and repeated use, the pain disappeared and the cracks healed. My boobs had a different shape, size, and consistency to them multiple times a day for the first several weeks. Eventually, those changes become more subtle.

Sleep deprivation was not a huge issue for me. It just feels like I have been on call for the past 6 months lol. Medical school and residency definitely trained me well. A while back, I learned that breastfeeding parents don’t interrupt their sleep cycles like non-breastfeeding parents do when they are awake with the baby. The body is wired in a way that allows breastfeeding parents to quickly fall back into the sleep cycle pattern they woke up from. Mother Nature’s way of trying to help with the sleep deprivation a bit, I guess.

Postpartum awareness

Society at large knows more about pregnancy than it does postpartum. There is also the weird fact that pregnant bodies are admired and praised while postpartum bodies are immediately judged and misunderstood. I hope to raise some awareness about postpartum and normalize it. It’s the fourth trimester and belongs to pregnancy as much as the first three trimesters with the baby still in the belly. It has its own unique challenges and I would say a much steeper learning curve than any of the trimesters with baby still on the inside.

I would love to hear from you about what surprised you the most about your own or your partner’s postpartum journey! Let’s share our experiences so postpartum parents don’t feel so alone in their experience and soon-to-be postpartumers are a bit more prepared for what’s to come!

mfg

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