Peanut is now 6 months old and it feels like just yesterday but also oddly really long ago that I was in the postpartum phase of my fertility journey.

As a medical student and resident physician, I did not receive a lot of training about the postpartum period. The postpartum period is generally considered the 6-week timeframe following delivery. I knew the big pointers and things often tested on exams:

• the difference between Baby Blues and Postpartum Depression
• vaginal bleeding goes through different phases of coloration
• the uterus size decreases over several weeks
• breastfeeding does not necessarily come naturally to the birthing person and/or baby
• sore nipples if breastfeeding
• how to monitor baby’s weight gain appropriately

That’s about it. I would venture to say that most of you reading this know about most of those things even if you or your partner haven’t gone through the postpartum period personally.

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Learning from experience

I definitely did not feel fully informed/prepared for the recovery time after delivery. All of my knowledge was so generalized. Yes, I knew I would bleed, but for how long? I knew that I would have sore nipples if I was successful with breastfeeding, but for how long? And I figured the vaginal area would hurt after pressing a human out of it, but again, for how long? When would it be ok to start working out again? Which workouts would be best?

I had a great birthing experience, was able to do it without pain medications, but I did have an episiotomy. Every birthing story is unique and I can only speak from my own experience from the singular birth I’ve ever gone through (as the birthing person). So the experience is likely very different for someone who had an epidural or difficult delivery or there were problems with the baby.

Talking to my tribe

Speaking with my friends in Germany who have given birth and following their postpartum journey, I was reminded of how very different the postpartum period is depending on your location. It’s a special feeling speaking with others who have gone through labor and delivery because they can understand and relate so much better than someone who hasn’t. That’s essentially the case with any experience in life though really. That’s why support groups can work so well.

I asked my friends and my Instagram followers to share some of their stories and experiences with me. I want to summarize some of the things they shared over several posts. Additionally, I’d like to highlight some of the differences between a postpartum journey in the USA versus Germany. Finally, I’ll share some of the products birthing people and their partners shared with me which they found particularly helpful during the postpartum period. (I am not receiving any merchandise or financial reward for mentioning any of the products. These are purely recommendations from people who felt it made their postpartum lives a bit easier.)

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Postpartum Surprises

Personally, I didn’t anticipate how hard it would be to just sit down anywhere after my episiotomy. Healing from that was really the only thing I disliked during my postpartum period. Everyone gets instructed on perineal care after delivery even if you don’t have a tear or episiotomy that needed suturing. Essentially every time you use the restroom, you have to flush the area with water to keep it clean. Now imagine a major wound healing in the perineal area. It made walking uncomfortable and sitting comfortably nearly impossible.

Add to that the normal bleeding after delivery. Going to the bathroom was such a process. Changing the blood-drenched padding, waiting for the water to be somewhat warm so you could fill the squeeze bottle with it, flushing the area, patting the area dry, applying the pain-numbing spray, and getting all dressed again, every. single. time.

Poop PSA

Speaking of using the bathroom. Let’s be very frank about pooping after delivery. (Pooping during delivery is totally normal and I assure you neither the nurses nor the doctors care one bit. If you are worried about your partner feeling some type of way about it, maybe reevaluate your choice in a partner) Postpartum pooping is not a joke. My advice to everyone having a delivery… DO NOT FORGET TO TAKE STOOL SOFTENERS! Between the hormonal changes, not drinking sufficient (if any) water during or after delivery, the organs shifting into a new place after the baby is out, and extremely decreased physical movement after the delivery, constipation is nearly unavoidable.

I was very diligent about taking Miralax during my pregnancy. In the hospital, I was given a stool softener. When I arrived back home 24 hours after the delivery,… I forgot to continue taking the Miralax. BIG MISTAKE. I have never been so constipated in my life. I was also worried about the episiotomy wound healing ok while trying to have a bowel movement. If you remember anything from this post, please remember to take your stool softeners after delivery!

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What surprised the Tribe?

Here are some of the responses I received when I asked, “What surprised you the most about the first few weeks after birth?”

• How I slept with the light on because I was afraid of everything!
• How awful breastfeeding is./The struggles relating to breastfeeding./ That breastfeeding is not a given and works right away
• All the blood. All the belly. And how quickly it went away!
• The impact of sleep deprivation on every. Single. Area. Of my life
• How little sleep I actually needed
• My joints did not feel strong for a long time! They almost felt wore out. Boo!
• That first post-birth poop. Nothing prepared me for that lol (Remember people, stool softeners are your friend)
• No time for anything – even though we were two people. Sometimes hardly found time to eat
• How tired/emotional I felt, how terrified I was of doing something wrong
• Bladder control after, cramping while nursing, overproduction of milk
• Crying for no reason!
• How the baby was emotionless until week 4-6. Cried at birth, but within 10 minutes just quiet and examining.

I can relate.

I could relate to quite a few of these. It took me a few nights to figure out just how much light I needed in the room to sleep and function when the baby was awake. I tried different night lights and having the lights on in the hallway. Eventually, I landed on just having the light from my Owlet base station be enough for me to see in the dark once my eyes adjusted. That is still all the light I have on during the night now.

My breastfeeding experience was rather uncomplicated except for the sore nipples. Oh my. It is quite the transition from not using your nipples and trying to avoid wardrobe malfunctions to having them constantly being used and whipped out in all sorts of settings. I’ve been a rather flat-chested person for most of my life. The engorgement and sudden seemingly Pamela Anderson-sized boobs were an experience. There were definitely a few days where it hurt pretty bad for the first 30-60 seconds when the baby latched on. With time, lots of nipple cream, and repeated use, the pain disappeared and the cracks healed. My boobs had a different shape, size, and consistency to them multiple times a day for the first several weeks. Eventually, those changes become more subtle.

Sleep deprivation was not a huge issue for me. It just feels like I have been on call for the past 6 months lol. Medical school and residency definitely trained me well. A while back, I learned that breastfeeding parents don’t interrupt their sleep cycles like non-breastfeeding parents do when they are awake with the baby. The body is wired in a way that allows breastfeeding parents to quickly fall back into the sleep cycle pattern they woke up from. Mother Nature’s way of trying to help with the sleep deprivation a bit, I guess.

Postpartum awareness

Society at large knows more about pregnancy than it does postpartum. There is also the weird fact that pregnant bodies are admired and praised while postpartum bodies are immediately judged and misunderstood. I hope to raise some awareness about postpartum and normalize it. It’s the fourth trimester and belongs to pregnancy as much as the first three trimesters with the baby still in the belly. It has its own unique challenges and I would say a much steeper learning curve than any of the trimesters with baby still on the inside.

I would love to hear from you about what surprised you the most about your own or your partner’s postpartum journey! Let’s share our experiences so postpartum parents don’t feel so alone in their experience and soon-to-be postpartumers are a bit more prepared for what’s to come!

mfg