This might be unpopular opinion,…but I love being pregnant.
PAST
I’ve met a few other women in my life that have felt the same way but most don’t. And that is totally ok. There is no right or wrong way to be pregnant. I was very fortunate in my pregnancies that my symptoms were limited. Food aversion in the first trimester and some hip pain with sleeping in the third trimester. I admire my sister for having gone through three pregnancies where she was ill and throwing up essentially until the baby was born. Knowing I would feel ill for 9 months, I don’t know if I could have done it three times. And she did all of this while being in residency or already a mom to two kids and an OBGYN attending. I wholeheartedly understand when she says she doesn’t like being pregnant.
It’s also ok to like certain aspects of pregnancy and dislike others. Pregnancy, like many things in life, is complex and not black/white. I don’t want anyone to feel they have to have the same experience as me or feel bad that they didn’t enjoy pregnancy.
In my experience, pregnancy was wonderful. I loved the growing belly, and the baby kicks, and looked forward to the birthing experience.
First Trimester
As I mentioned, I had food aversions during the first trimester. I didn’t feel ill, I just had no appetite for anything. This didn’t bother me too much during my first pregnancy. With a toddler at home to feed, however, it seemed like such a big task to find nutritious food to offer my toddler and not just live off of noodles every day. Thankfully, noodles are a favorite food in my toddler’s book. But I wanted to make sure we hit a few more food groups with our meals.
I ended up losing a few pounds (similar to the first pregnancy). However, I started at a lower weight than the first time around. This was mainly due to the hectic life of a full-time working solo mom and not that I was actively trying to lose weight. I was at the lowest weight I had been since graduating High School which scared me a bit so I tried to eat, even if I wasn’t hungry.
Thankfully, I didn’t have the nausea or extreme fatigue others experience. Shortly after entering the second trimester, the food aversions started to lift. I rejoiced in the fact that fruits and vegetables were appetizing again.
Second Trimester
The second trimester was fairly uneventful. I noticed a baby bump quicker than with the first pregnancy, which is expected. I also felt the first fetal movement much earlier, at about 15 weeks.
My ultrasounds and genetic testing happened in Honolulu. It was WILD to me that the Women’s Health Center on Moloka’i didn’t offer genetic testing. Especially since the facilities of the same hospital system in Honolulu did. One would think they could extend their lab contract to Moloka’i and spare the pregnant patients an expensive trip to Honolulu for a blood draw.
As with my first pregnancy, I did not want to know the sex of my baby in advance. I feel we have so few good surprises in our lives these days that this was a surprise I was curating for myself. I repeatedly told doctors that I absolutely did not want to know at every appointment. Especially the ultrasound appointments! I always closed my eyes when they placed the probe on my stomach until they told me it was safe to look.
As the sex was not mentioned in any report, only the doctor who did my fetal anatomy ultrasound and my OB at the end of my pregnancy knew in advance which sex my baby had. Ultimately, I didn’t care which sex my baby had. I feel there is way too much pressure put on a baby’s sex. However, I can also understand parents being interested in finding out as soon as possible.
Third Trimester
I stayed in Hawaii until I was 35 weeks pregnant. The belly continued to grow and I continued to go about life as usual. The pregnancy hardly slowed me down while caring for my energetic toddler. I occasionally went to bed earlier, but I still did all the cleaning around the house, the grocery shopping, and packing for our departure. What other option did I have? I felt physically well too so it was fine.
The office staff threw me a baby shower during my last week at the office. They are such sweet people.
I also managed to shoot with a local photographer again. It was sort of spontaneous and the rain cut our session short but we still managed to get some great pictures!
At 35 weeks pregnant, I schlepped my toddler, car seat, carry-on, and two suitcases from Moloka’i via Honolulu to Ohio. We were only there for a day before my toddler and I flew to Texas to meet up with a fashion photographer. I’ve known her since High School and have always wanted to shoot with her. Our schedules didn’t align during my first pregnancy so it was a top priority of mine that I make it work this time around.
We got some amazing shots! I’m in the process of printing a selection out as posters for our current apartment.
After the shoot, I drove to Austin to meet up with my good friend and finally met her baby boy. We enjoyed a day of mommy/children time together. The following day, it was back to Ohio to pack and get ready for Germany.
The final stretch
I arrived in Germany just shy of 36 weeks pregnant. We stayed with my aunt and uncle for a few weeks while we got the basics set up in our new apartment. I celebrated my birthday with friends I hadn’t seen in over 6 months. My toddler started German daycare and loves it.
Having my toddler in daycare and not working as a physician, this was the first time in almost three years that I consistently had a few hours of “me-time”. Much of that time was still spent getting errands done that were more easily done without a toddler. However, I also made it a priority to sit in a cafe and enjoy a beverage peacefully. Had I not been pregnant, I would’ve made several trips to a spa for a massage or facial.
Differences in Prenatal Care Before Delivery
With both of my pregnancies, I worked until about 35 weeks. In the first, I then traveled from South Dakota via Wisconsin to Ohio. For this last pregnancy, I traveled from Hawai’i via Ohio to Germany. For both, I did my routine prenatal care with a different provider than the one around the time of delivery. In America, my delivery was assisted by an OBGYN. In Germany, my prenatal care was done by an OBGYN but my delivery was assisted by a midwife. Midwifery is much more prevalent in Germany than it is in America. Many women do their prenatal care with midwives as well.
German Benefits
Since I didn’t work in Germany, many of the peripartum benefits didn’t apply to me. I spoke with my friend about what benefits are available. Just to name a few things:
- Some women are not allowed to continue working the moment they become pregnant if their job poses a risk to the pregnancy (such as daycare workers, teachers, flight attendants). They stop working but continue to get their full pay.
- Physicians (interestingly enough, given the constant exposure to disease) are still allowed to work BUT are only allowed to work the day shift, and aren’t allowed to draw blood or administer chemotherapy (among other restrictions).
- The pregnant person receives 100% of their salary during the time they are not allowed to work
- 6 weeks before the due date and 8 weeks after are protected times and no pregnant person has to work while still receiving pay and job protection
- After the 8 weeks postpartum, the “Parent-time” starts. The regulations are currently changing a bit but essentially, you get paid a percentage of your salary up to 1,800 Euros a month during the parental leave which lasts 12 months.
- You can take unpaid parental leave until the child is 7 years old and your job is secured during that time.
Pregnancy pokes
One of the benefits I was able to partake in was prenatal acupuncture. I went once a week to see a midwife who performed acupuncture on my lower legs. The thought was that the points targeted increased the energy flow to the cervix and uterus and would decrease the time of labor. The week before my due date, we added a point that was meant to induce labor. Did it work?
It felt like a little spa treatment of sorts. It was an opportunity to just relax and focus on the pregnancy. Ultimately the delivery was shorter than with my first child (not uncommon for the second child). The delivery happened 4 days after the induction points were targeted. So, who knows?
PRESENT
We went on our first family trip since the last post. We drove to Stuttgart for my godchild’s confirmation. It was a 4.5-hour drive. We made it with just two potty/breastfeeding breaks along the way.
It was a nice weekend of spending time with family. The view from my great-aunt’s house is always lovely. The pretzels in the south are just better, so a lot of pretzel breads were eaten. I wish we would’ve stayed a bit longer but the weather was oddly freezing and rainy. We wouldn’t have been able to do much with two small children. Wrangling a toddler in someone else’s house is not exactly relaxing for me. Hopefully, we will head back again in the summer.
FUTURE
I am fully in planning mode for future trips. These plans seem to constantly be changing as family and friends ask if I want to join them on trips. If plans work out as they are currently planned, we will have about two trips at least per month for the rest of the year. I’m excited to be going on some trips with my sister (who currently lives in Austria). Many European destinations but also some northern Africa and Asia will be included.
Should be quite the adventure to travel with two small children as a solo-mom. Stay tuned!
mfg
