Herstory Archives

How to make a baby. No birds or bees necessary.

July 31, 2021 No Comments

Fertility treatments are on a spectrum of how much is involved in achieving a pregnancy. On one end, you have home insemination kits where you buy the sperm and it gets injected into the vagina. The sperm then have to find their way through the cervix to the uterus, up the fallopian tube where they hopefully find an egg coming their way. On the other end of the spectrum lies IVF. This can involve many hormone shots, egg retrieval procedures, fertilization of the egg with a single sperm, genetic testing of the embryos, and implantation into the uterus.

My journey as one step up from home insemination. No turkey baster for me!

Intrauterine Insemination (IUI)

The procedure I had performed was called intrauterine insemination. In other words, washed sperm is injected with a syringe and tubing that has been placed through the cervical opening directly into the uterus. It’s essentially a fast pass for the sperm because they don’t have to find their way through the cervix themselves. “Washed” sperm means that any mucous and non-motile sperm have been removed. This leaves the good swimmers left and increases the chances of pregnancy.

Eisprung

Eisprung is the German term for ovulation. Literally translated, it means egg jump. I’d like to think of my eggs as little athletes who have to jump to get where they want to go, lol.

Before the IUI could be performed, I had to predict when my ovulation was going to happen (i.e. when the egg gets released from the ovaries). To do this, I would start using an ovulation predictor kit (available at drug stores/grocery stores and online)about 4 days after my period ended. Each woman has her own cycle length. I had recorded mine for many months prior to starting to try to conceive using an App. That way, I had a pretty good estimate of when things might happen since my cycles were fairly regular.

Ovulation occurs about 14 days before the next menstruation starts. That’s only helpful information if you know the average length of your cycle. Otherwise, when your period starts, you can only say you ovulated about 2 weeks prior. That’s not helpful when you need to know when you’re going to ovulate for a procedure. There are some physical signs you might be ovulating soon. The consistency of the cervical mucous changes to become more watery around the time of ovulation. This allows for sperm to more easily get through the cervix to their destination.

Smile! You’re about to ovulate!

To use the ovulation predictor kits, you have to either pee on the tester or dunk it in a cup of pee in the morning and wait. The one I used showed a smiley face if your ovulation was likely to happen in the next 24 hours. The test looks for the LH (luteinizing hormone) surge. The surge in LH triggers ovulation.

For the first round of IUI, my smiley face unfortunately presented itself the day before my family medicine board exam. I wouldn’t have been able to move that so I spoke with my doctor and decided to do it a day later. This drastically decreased my chances of it working out. However, I had ordered two vials of sperm and was only going to be in the area for two months. I didn’t want to pay for storage or shipping fees if I would’ve had sperm left over.

Not surprisingly, the first round didn’t work (even with my fertility dance). I wasn’t too upset about it since I knew the chances were slim.

Round two went much more smoothly.

Making a baby with my mom in the room

My mother was with me for both of my IUI sessions. I felt it was really nice to share that moment with her and I think she quite enjoyed it as well. Great story to tell my child someday.

So when the smiley face showed up the second time, things really fell into place. I was able to get off of work to have the procedure done the next day.

First, we had to show up an hour before the scheduled appointment to sign off on the sperm. This allowed the fertility clinic to process the frozen sperm for the procedure. An hour later, my mother and I were sitting in the exam room. A nurse practitioner came in, verified my identity, and had me verify my sperm donor’s information on the vial. Then I laid back, relaxed, put my feet up and the NP injected the sperm into my uterus. Afterwards, I laid there for about 10 minutes. That was it. Pretty uneventful. Not painful. And less fun than the alternative way of getting pregnant.

Two lines!

Two weeks after the IUI and on my last day of residency, I took a pregnancy test and it was positive!

My excitement was contained. I was very happy that it worked. I had never been pregnant so I was excited that I now knew I could become pregnant. Knowing how many more steps there were until I would be able to hold my hopefully healthy baby, my reaction to the positive test was not comparable to that in the movies. But I was definitely excited for the many milestones ahead and knew that with each of them, my excitement would grow.

Check, please!

One of the questions I often get is how much this all costs. I can only say what I paid. Each fertility journey is different with MANY different factors that can effect the cost. Some fertility clinics have all-included packages or reduced prices for self pay. I was self pay since my health insurance didn’t cover fertility treatments at the facility.

My expenses, including office visits, genetic testing, labs, imagining, IUIs, and sperm came to about $3,750.00 total. Each additional round of IUI would’ve cost me about $820 (sperm + IUI procedure).

I was grateful to be a position where I was able to save up and afford this. It would be nice to see health insurances increasing their coverage of fertility treatments. Maybe not primarily in my scenario but rather for people dealing with infertility. Infertility is a medical disorder, it’s not something people choose to have. My opinion is that it should be treated as such and be funded like other medical disorders are too.

Correction

Before I wrap up this post, I did want to make a correction to my previous post. I have since then learned that it actually IS possible for single women and lesbian couples to have fertility treatments done in Germany. I had someone come visit me a few days ago who is currently pregnant, a single mother by choice and had her procedure done in Germany. Apparently, the laws have changed somewhat which created a gray zone in the legislature. This made it possible for fertility clinics to start offering the services. So YAY to that!

mfg

Herstory, Motherhood

The Workup

July 15, 2021 2 Comments

Greetings from Germany! Peanut and I have been in Germany for almost two weeks now. Family and friends are stopping by to get to know peanut and I’m eating a ton of yummy German food.

In the last post, I explained how I chose my sperm donor. Before I could try becoming pregnant, however, there was a list of things I needed to do first. Keep in mind that each person’s fertility journey is unique and every clinic has its own unique protocols. I can only speak from experience about my journey with the clinic I chose.

The R.E.I. Specialist

No, not someone who is really into camping and works at the Recreational Equipment Inc. but rather a Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility specialist. First on the list was a consultation with an REI specialist. As I had mentioned, a lovely woman I met during residency, who was finishing up her REI fellowship, recommended I have a consultation with her friend and co-fellow. This was during the beginning months of the pandemic, so it was a virtual visit.

We discussed my general medical history, sexual history, and desire to conceive. She explained the process and the steps that would be necessary to move forward. She ordered some basic labs as well as labs more specific to fertility such as follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) and anti-mullerian hormone (AMH). Sexually transmitted infections testing was also done. A pelvic ultrasound was ordered to take a look at my ovaries and uterus. A hysterosalpingogram (HSG) was ordered as well. An HSG is a radiological procedure where a contrast solution is injected into the uterus through the cervix to show the contour of the uterus and assess if the fallopian tubes are open.

I also opted to have genetic testing performed to look for an exhaustingly long list of recessive genetic disorders. My sperm donor did not have genetic testing done prior to being allowed to donate. The sperm bank I used now requires all new donors to be tested. I really wanted this particular donor and felt that if my recessive gene test panel was negative, then I could move forward with him. For those of you who don’t remember how recessive genes work, both parents have to have the recessive gene AND pass it on to the child for it to affect the child. So, if I wasn’t positive for any recessive genetic disorders but the donor was, my child wouldn’t be affected. They could still be a carrier for the disease but I’ll end the genetics lesson here. Thankfully, my entire workup was unremarkable.

The Cardiologist

Prior to my REI appointment, I had an echocardiogram done to assess my heart. I have always had somewhat hyper-mobile joints and am quite tall with low back issues at times. The possibility of Marfan’s disease had crossed my mind on several occasions. I was never too worried about it until I was seriously contemplating becoming pregnant. It didn’t necessarily help when a physician assistant at one of my rotations told me the story of how she knew a girl whose mother died during childbirth from aortic rupture due to undiagnosed Marfan’s syndrome. Thankfully, my heart is fine.

The Geneticist

Despite the normal echo, I also met with a geneticist to discuss genetic testing for Marfan’s syndrome and other connective tissue disorders. I had a genetic connective tissue disorder panel done. Again, thankfully it was all normal. Now I felt like I could definitely move forward with trying to conceive and carry a child.

The Psychologist

A mandatory step prior to trying to conceive with the fertility clinic was meeting with a specialized clinical psychologist. We discussed my desire to become a mother, why it hadn’t happened with a partner yet, and how I plan to raise the child. She gave me really great insight into several topics.

Motherhood: this means different things to different people. There are also different aspects to motherhood and you may use all of them or just some. Motherhood can mean contributing your DNA to create a child and/or being pregnant and/or raising a child. I am very, very fortunate to be able to have all three aspects with my child. Some people use surrogates or require an egg donor. Some (myself hopefully included someday) adopt and raise children. These people are all mothers. For some, certain aspects might be particularly important. I really wanted the experience of pregnancy and knew I would be very sad if I couldn’t.
Sperm donor children: apparently, there are online sites where you can register with your sperm donor’s number/sperm bank information and find other families that used the same donor. This way, the half siblings can meet up. I do not plan on doing this unless my child decides they would like to. Then, I’ll support it 100%. My family is big and I have a lot of friends, so I don’t currently feel the need to expand that even further.
Single mother by choice: there is definitely a community of women, like myself, who have decided to be single mothers. There are websites, forums, Facebook groups, etc. where I could go and find support should I need it.
Raising a donor child as a single mother: the psychologist told me that there are multiple children’s books available that address this topic. In today’s world, there are so many different types of family structures raising children: mom & dad, mom & mom, dad & dad, single mom, single dad, step-parents, grand-parents, aunts & uncles, etc. I have to raise my child showing them all these different structures so that they don’t feel like someone (“dad”) is missing.

Checklist complete

Luckily, my entire workup was unremarkable and I received the green light from the psychologist to move forward with trying to conceive. I selected my sperm donor and ordered the sperm. Although the fertility clinic recommended I order four vials of sperm, I only ordered two. They had told me that most people conceive within three rounds of intrauterine insemination (IUI) (I’ll go into more detail about this in a future post). I was only going to be in the Ohio area for two more months before traveling and then heading out to South Dakota for work. If it hadn’t worked in two rounds, I would’ve established care in South Dakota and would’ve shipped more sperm there.

My appointment with the REI specialist was June 1st, 2020. My first round of IUI was July 14th. It took about a month to get the entire workup completed. I was then able to start the routine for the IUI. That will be the subject of my next post!

Svikki MD

On a different note, things are in the works for my next assignments! The first assignment will be somewhere in Ohio from September through December. In January, I will most likely be out in Oregon for 7 months! I’ll share more details once things are locked in.

As always, feel free to reach out with any questions you may have. I’ve really loved the outreach so far and getting to speak with people about sperm donor pregnancies. Really exciting news pertaining to this came out of France this week. France has passed a law allowing single women and lesbian couples to get fertility treatment! This was previously only allowed for heterosexual couples. Similar rights exist in 10 EU countries, the UK, Norway, and Iceland. Germany is unfortunately not one of the 10 EU countries that allow single women and lesbian couples to receive fertility treatments.

I am so thankful I was allowed to pursue my dream of motherhood on my own terms.

mfg

Herstory, Motherhood

So many choices

June 24, 2021 1 Comment

It has been a great 7 weeks so far as a mother. We took a two-week trip to Wisconsin to visit family and have been back in Ohio for almost two weeks now. There has been some increased crying over the past two weeks but the nights are still very manageable. We’ve applied for the American and German passports and received the American one in the mail yesterday!

Ok, so let’s talk about the process of how I got pregnant a bit more. I’ll share different parts of the journey with each post. I already shared why I decided to become a single mother by choice in my previous post. As I had mentioned, I happened to meet a reproductive endocrinology and infertility doctor during residency. She gave me some recommendations on sperm banks she liked working with. That is where I began the journey.

Choosing a Donor

If you were to line up the men I dated over the past 10 years, you’d notice they are quite the diverse group of fellas. They all had fairly similar personalities, however. Something obvious would be that the majority of them were black. Over the past 10 years, when envisioning my future children, I often envisioned them to be mix-raced due to the men I was dating. When it came to choosing a sperm donor, however, I decided to choose a caucasian donor.

Although I mainly dated black men in my life, I did not think it was fair for me to have a mixed-race child that society would see as black and not have a partner present to help that child navigate the world (especially in the USA) as a black child. I don’t know what it’s like to be black. I’m aware I live in a world that (besides my gender identity), is built for me to thrive in and I do not have the same obstacles. Although I intend to adopt in the future and there is a chance my adopted child will be black, they already exist in the world and I am giving them a loving home to grow up in. In that case, I will also make sure they have exposure and connections to that community.

So once I decided on my donor being caucasian, I narrowed down the list with a few aspects. I wanted the donor’s description to be as close as possible to someone I would be attracted to. I first narrowed it down to donors who are taller than me. Then, I eliminated the blondes. Although I’ve dated a blonde or two, they usually aren’t what I’m attracted to. That narrowed the list down to around 10 donors. I requested extended profiles for each of them.

Tell me everything!

The extended profiles were about 30 pages worth of information on each donor. They covered information including:

Donor Fertility History
Donor Health History
Nutrition
Exercise
Medical History
Exposure History
Tobacco Use
Alcohol Use
Caffeine Use
Work History/Experience
Sexual History and Relationships
Family Health History
Ancestry
Children’s Medical History
Personal Essays
Personal Characteristics
Physical Features
Psychological Profile
Detailed Family History of Father, Mother, Siblings, Grandparents, Aunt and Uncles

As you can see, that’s a lot of information. I’d venture to bet that is more than some people know about the person they decided to procreate with.

My donor was the third profile I read from the ten I requested. Everything was perfect for me except for a cat allergy (and there is loratadine for that should my child inherit that particular trait). Some important aspects for me were Family Medical History, Psychological Profile and Physical Features. His personality is similar to mine and we have many of the same interests. The personal essays were interesting to read. While my donor had a very genuine and kind reason for wanting to be a sperm donor, others were less impressive. My favorite answer from one of the donors when asked why he wanted to be a sperm donor was “honestly, I didn’t know I could get paid for this!”. While I appreciate your honesty, bro, no thanks.

I was visiting my father at the time I was vetting through the profiles and would read them out loud to him. When I excitedly read my donor’s profile to him, he asked if I was choosing a donor or my next boyfriend. I guess that is a good sign.

Show me the money!

You can spend a fortune on choosing a donor if you so please. Firstly, different sperm banks have different prices for a vial of sperm. It was recommended that I order 4 vials. I only ordered two, but more on that in a later post when I talk about the process. The sperm bank I went with charges $500/vial. There are sperm banks that charge upwards of $1000/vial.

Besides the extended profile, the other extra thing I paid for was some childhood pictures of my donor. My sperm bank does not provide current photos of their donors but does mention celebrity look-a-likes. Other sperm banks do supply a current photo for a fee. The only other extra item my sperm bank offers is an audio file of the donor. I opted not to purchase that (although maybe I will in the future). Other sperm banks have a plethora of extras you can purchase. This can quickly make the sperm donor choosing process an expensive one.

Call me, maybe?

One last thing that was very important to me: an open donor. This was important to me and also strongly recommended by the reproductive psychologist I had an appointment with (more on that in a future post). This means that my child will have the option to contact the sperm bank and obtain contact information of the donor when they turn 18. In a day and age of DNA test kits, the last thing you want is your child to take a test, find their biological father and that person wants nothing to do with them. I will support my child’s decision, whichever way they decide to go with this.

What’s in a name?

That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet. That might work for Shakespeare and his Montague and Capulets. But what do you or your child call the sperm donor? Do you always say “sperm donor”? I don’t really want my child to refer to that person as “the sperm donor”. I still have a bit of time before this actually becomes a topic of discussion with my child, but currently, I am leaning towards referring to the sperm donor as their father when talking to others. When it comes to talking with my child about it, I still haven’t decided how exactly I’ll refer to the sperm donor. Supposedly there are children’s books available for these situations. I’ll have to find and buy them soon.

I feel father is a formal name for a person whose DNA helped create a child. The term “Dad”, in my opinion, is reserved for the person who raises the child. There are many different family structures in the world and I’m interested to know how other families have decided to handle their titles.

Gratitude for the Donor

My fertility journey could not have gone more perfectly than it did. I had an amazing pregnancy, wonderful delivery experience and now have a beautiful, healthy child to hold and call my own. Although I don’t know who the sperm donor is, I am grateful for him. I’m grateful that he decided to become a donor. The other candidates I looked through weren’t nearly as great on paper. In a way, I know a lot about this man from the information in his extended profile (granted he was truthful about his supplied information).

Potentially I’ll get to know more about him in 18 years if my child decides to reach out. But even if that doesn’t happen, I am content with the information I do know and believe that he is a person I would enjoy being around. I’m sure I will see glimpses of him and his family in my child when I don’t recognize certain aspects as being from me or my family.

One thing I do know, is that I will speak kindly about this man to my child because without him, my child wouldn’t be who they are.

mfg

Happiness, Herstory, Locum, Travel

Chronicles of a Friendship

February 8, 2021 No Comments

Svikki MD

The last week of January was less eventful than the one before. There wasn’t so much unsolved mystery surrounding my patients. I did end up having to transfer one of the patients out to a higher level of care hospital in the middle of the night though. We had hit the point where we were no longer able to escalate our care in our facility.

Beyond that though, I was preparing my patient panel to be handed off while I take a week off. I was supposed to be going to Brazil for two weeks for a friend’s wedding but,… you know…. the pandemic. So instead of taking two weeks off, I just decided to take off one to visit my family back in Ohio for a few days and increase my Vitamin D level in Miami for a few days. As always, I try to do everything (short of not going) to reduce my risk of exposure during a pandemic. I try to be as diligent as I am in the hospital out in the real world. That means wearing my N95 during the entire duration of the flight, sanitizing high-touch surfaces, frequent hand washing and sanitizing, and distancing myself as much as I can from others around me.

Brrrr…it’s cold out here

I thought my winter in South Dakota would be heavier than winters in Ohio. Thus far, that hasn’t really been the case. Ohio winters are unfortunately very grey. One of the first things I looked up when I was considering South Dakota as an assignment was the days of sun during the winter. Lucky for me, I found that they averaged more than they did in Wisconsin (a winter location I tend to enjoy) and way more sun than Ohio. I arrived in Ohio shortly before the snow began to come down. Nothing close to what Chicago and the North East were dealing with but it laid a pretty nice blanket over the area. I certainly got my share of winter feeling in during the few days there.

While in Ohio, I stopped by my residency to say hello. It’s crazy to me that graduation was already 5 months ago. It sort of feels like I’ve just been on an away rotation. It felt so good seeing my residency family again; the front desk ladies, the MA’s, the residents, and the attendings. I’m really fortunate that my residency is such a lovely place to return to. I know many people do not have enjoyable residency experiences. The crew in Boardman, Ohio is definitely a special group of people.

Hello Sunshine

I have visited Miami countless times. These trips started during medical school when a German friend and I would fly to Miami and stay with one of my friends in Miami. Some of those trips were pretty wild and served up almost all the components of a good rap song. My Miami Friend has become one of my best friends over the years. I can’t thank her enough for her hospitality, kindness and generosity over the years. We have met up in several places around the world and I can always count on her to be down to travel somewhere. More on her in a bit.

Miami is open

In terms of the pandemic, Miami felt quite different from the places I have been spending my time at over the last several months. People are out in clubs, restaurants and bars like the pandemic doesn’t exist. To their credit, most people I saw walking around in public places were wearing a face mask. Miami also has the advantage of the weather and outdoor venues which are safer in regards to viral transmission than being indoors at a restaurant in say, South Dakota.

However, I still avoided the masses. My friend and I were mainly at her place. We spent an early morning on the beach when there was hardly anyone else around. The Rubell Contemporary Art Museum that we visited had limited visitors. If we ate at a restaurant, it was outdoors and well spaced from other guests. The days of going to the big clubs packed like sardines has been over for us for a while now, so I didn’t really miss that former staple of a Miami visit.

Keith Haring at the Rubell Museum in Miami

It was nice to spend a few days with family and close friends after not having much of any social interactions in South Dakota over the past several months. At the same time, I look forward to returning to work tomorrow in Deadwood. I’ve only got 7.5 weeks left of my assignment in South Dakota and I am sure they will fly by.

The Web

I often like to reflect on my life thus far and the experiences I’ve been fortunate to have. This often happens when I am on trips. It’s fun for me to run through the sequence of events that led me to that particular moment, that connection with someone, or the opportunity that presented itself.

Let’s take my Miami Friend as an example. Because of her, I have had amazing life experiences, met fabulous people I now call my friends and opportunities that I would not have had without her. But what needed to happen for me to meet her?

The Origin Story

Well, when I was about 14-15 years old, my younger sister and I did a photoshoot at home for fun. I showed the pictures to my father who suggested I research local modeling agencies to see if that would be something I could pursue. The Rock Agency in Madison Wisconsin is what I found. I called them and set up an appointment with their New Faces Director. After a short introduction of the agency for all people present at the New Faces Open Call, I met with the New Faces director individually. She saw potential and had me set up my first photoshoot. [The agency owner is one of my best friends now and she has created a whole web of connections and experiences in my life as well.]

My first photoshoot was a blast. I ended up befriending the photographer and make up artist and my family’s home was used as the location for a modeling shoot a few years later. Following the first, I had another photoshoot to build up my portfolio. Then, I was invited to attend a modeling convention in New York City that summer called IMTA. It’s a huge convention with hopeful models and actors from around the United States that participate in various competitions that are judged by model and acting agents from around the world. This lead to my first modeling contract in Milan. [I met one of my other best friends on this first contract in Milan, so our friendship’s origin story is the same up to this point.]

Photographer: Jeff Wilson || Make-Up: Anja Epkes

Ciao Milano

Two years later in 2008, I was back in Milan for my second contract. I was originally put into an apartment with a bunch of girls. However, I quickly befriended one of the other models from the agency who was living in a 2 model apartment in China Town. This model was my now best friend from Miami. We orchestrated a switch between her roommate and myself so that we could live together (the agency wasn’t very happy with us when they found out we did this without telling them…oops.) We would cook together, shop together and travel to other Italian cities. After our contract, she went back to Miami and I returned to Wisconsin. The only connection we continued to have back in that era was being friends on Facebook.

This is easily where our story could’ve ended and my life would be completely different if it had. Seriously, I could draw up a whole web of how many of the major experiences in my life and opportunities that I have had would never have happened the way they did if it wasn’t for having met her in Milan.

The Reconnection

Luckily, it didn’t end there. It was several years later, in 2013 while I was in medical school and wanting to do a bit of modeling on the side, that I had to fill out a form listing agencies I’ve worked with. I couldn’t remember the one we were with however, so I facebook messaged her. We briefly caught up on what the other one has been doing over the past several years. In this conversation, she recommended I come visit Miami if I ever needed a vacation from medical school. In 2014, I took her up on that offer. A German friend and I visited her for a week.

Welcome to Miami

My Miami Friend had worked in nightlife for years. At the time, she was working in the hottest club there was, LIV in the Fontainebleau Hotel. You know, one of the only clubs you will find multiple rap/hip-hop songs referencing? The club that gave the world LIV on Sunday which was THE place to be seen as a rapper or hip-hop artist. Depending on the night and who was performing, the admission rate to the club for general admission was upwards of $300. The amount of money spent on bottles of champagne or just thrown in the air to make it rain was insane. Yes, she worked there.

She introduced my German friend and I to the best nights of our lives. We were introduced to all of her friends who worked at LIV as well. Having worked in nightlife for so long, she had vetted her friends so the ones I ended up meeting and becoming friends with were all awesome, kind and genuine. (Kind and genuine is not always easy to find in a setting like Miami, so I was fortunate that she had done the weeding out beforehand).

The Miami Crew

This group of amazing people not only made sure my German friend and I had nights we will never forget, but they also kept us safe. We were only ever introduced to other good people. The bottle girls, bartenders, security guards, managers, promoters and bus boys I was introduced to became my second Miami family and LIV became my second Miami home. I could walk into a full lobby of people waiting to get into the club, bypass them all and be greeted by my name by the bouncer and let in. It felt unreal.

All thanks to my Miami Friend. And it didn’t stop at LIV, the people who worked there were wildly connected to other people working in Miami which led to great nights at other clubs, comps at restaurants, sporting events and concerts. I was given the opportunity to experience Miami totally different than your average Miami tourist. I can’t even list all the artists I saw perform live at LIV of Sunday but to name a few; Drake, Lil Wayne, Chris Brown, 2 Chainz, Fabolous, DJ Khalid, Trey Songz and so many more. Thanks to the girls, I always had VIP access and drank the yummiest champagne. I’ve partied at the same table as Lil Wayne. I’m telling you, Miami was a different world back then and I am so grateful I was invited into it by my Miami Friend.

Beyond the party

It wasn’t only partying that she made possible for me, through meeting her friends and becoming friends with them myself, many experiences and opportunities started to branch off of me knowing her. After graduating from medical school, I took a year off before starting residency. My goal of that year was to work in a job that made good money so that I could travel around the world for about 4 months prior to starting residency.

Where else in the world would I go but Miami for this?! I knew the greatest people who knew the right people. With the help of my Miami crew, I secured an interview and subsequently job at the second place I worked and ultimately exclusively worked at, Hyde Beach Miami. I’ll share more about that year in particular at a later time but that year created a multitude of new connections, friendships and opportunities for me. For instance, because one of my friends in Miami invited me out to dinner one night with some of her friends, I met my now friend who helped me plan my one-of-a-kind 3 week trip to India! One of the greatest trips of my life! The web is big, my friends.

Moving on

Over the past several years, I often visited Miami as a little get away from residency. As my Miami Friend transitioned from night life to becoming a manager of an Art Gallery, my visits transitioned to a more feasible wake/sleep schedule. Many of our friends also transitioned out of night life into other careers. So instead of spending our nights in the clubs and sleeping all morning, we were meeting up with friends for brunch, visiting museums and traveling to other parts of the country and the world.

My Miami Friend was the first one to visit me in South Dakota. We met up in New Mexico for New Years last month. I’ve celebrated my last three birthdays with her; three years ago in Miami, last year in Tulum and this year, a bit belated, in Miami again. We are already contemplating when we will see each other again and look forward to the world being safe again for international travel. We have quite the extensive bucket list to work on.

There are so many stories in between that saga that I didn’t even mention. But for me, I trace all of those experiences in my life back to the moment my parents encouraged me to look into finding a modeling agency. You just never know what an experience in life will bring you, so don’t miss an opportunity to do something new, you have no idea how many wonderful consequences can emerge from it!

mfg

Herstory, Locum

Déjà vu & you do you, boo

November 9, 2020 No Comments

This past week flew by. I was nervous it might not due to the election but work definitely kept me busy. But first, can I just say how relieved I am that Joe Biden and Kamala Harris won? I’m only a permanent resident and thus can’t vote. I don’t want politics to be a big part of this blog (although it is important everyone is informed and engaged in politics), but I do want humanity, respect, love, and trust to be the bedrock of everything I do. To see two people with similar values win this election gives me hope for the next 4 years. It feels good.

Svikki MD

Clinic

My patient numbers continue to increase in the office. Unfortunately, the number of patients with COVID symptoms continues to climb as well. It’s no surprise, one look at the numbers in South Dakota explains the trend. This week felt as though more severely sick people were coming in though. The day I had call, I was presented with two clinic and two ED patients for possible admission. I sent two home, I admitted one, and one needed to be transferred to a facility with ICU capabilities. It feels like March 2020 all over again….but only for me. I seem to be the only person in my hospital who has experience with the virus.

Flash Back to March 2020

For those who don’t know, when COVID started showing up in Youngstown, Ohio, I volunteered to be one of the first providers to work in the designated Flu clinics. Anyone with respiratory complaints was no longer able to see their PCP and needed to be seen in the Flu Clinic. We didn’t have testing supplies for the first several days. Things were changing on an hourly basis. We didn’t have tests, then we did, but only a limited amount. At first, we had enough PPE to change between each patient. Then we needed to start wearing the same PPE for multiple visits. It was hectic but I liked working in that environment.

Two weeks later, I started taking care of COVID patients in the hospital. The hospitalists were overwhelmed with the number of patients. Two other residents and an attending headed to the floor every day to take care of the patients as best we could. We knew a lot less back then and we were using different medications than are used now. So much was unknown (and still is) but we showed up and did what we could. Who got better and who died hardly seemed to have a rhyme or reason.

By the time May rolled around, we were back to our residency rotations. The only major difference was telemedicine visits in the clinic and having to wear a mask and shield when seeing patients in person.

Back to the future

So here I am now in South Dakota. I can see the number of cases presenting to the clinic and hospital on the rise. The big difference to Ohio however, is that I don’t have the same capabilities here like I did there. I have no ICU located two floors down, no second ICU close by, and no Cleveland or Pittsburgh nearby.

The closest hospital is only a 20-minute drive away and does have an ICU but they are hardly taking patients. Rapid City is on diversion. We are sometimes looking to different states for help. This will be an interesting winter, and not in a good way. But I am not surprised we will go through this. What do you expect if the majority of people walk around without masks, the Sturgis motorcycle rally took place and people were partying at Halloween parties last week? I do not sugar-coat it when patients ask me if this virus really is as dangerous as people say it is.

Hospital

About half of the census in the hospital this past week was mine. Mostly swing beds, since they stay for weeks. I did have the first COVID admission of this hospital. They did really well and were able to go home yesterday. Today was my first day in 20 days that I didn’t have to drive to the hospital to see patients.

Svikki Hobbies

I have so many different hobbies and interests it is sometimes hard to adequately devote time to one of them. As much of a nerd as I am, I like to give my analytical brain a rest from time to time and jump into more creative activities. At times I’ll combine the two. I often drew throughout medical school, especially anatomy class, to solidify the knowledge.

When I was packing my suitcase for South Dakota, I ended up packing a duffel bag full of artsy things; paper, water colors, brushes, pens, charcoal, and pastels.

Childish innocence

I often feel that as people get older, they get more and more hung up about doing something really well or not doing it at all. I’m definitely guilty of this. The innocence of a child not caring about how perfect the end result will be but enjoying the process of creating is something I actively try to return to. When people started telling me I have talent, it became harder to just create for fun because I felt a pressure that the end result needed to be good. It needed to validate their former praise. This feeling often stopped me from starting something because I knew I didn’t have the free time to devote to perfecting it. Once I started realizing that, I actively started just drawing at random times and random things, just for the sake of doing it.

The opposite of praise can be debilitating too. As a child, I was often told, “you can do so many things…but somehow no one in your family can sing, including you.” I didn’t formally try. I didn’t join the choir. But I LOVED to sing. I know a ridiculous amount of lyrics and my favorite part about driving a car is the fact that I can sing as loud as I want and no one hears me. From time to time, in different parts of the world, I would partake in karaoke. It’s almost frowned upon to be too good at karaoke. It “ruins” it for everyone else so it’s a safe environment. But that’s the wrong way of looking at it!! Do you like singing? Then sing! Who cares if it’s not always on key? You aren’t trying to win Idol, you are just enjoying singing.

How things have changed

Last year, while sitting around with some people and a ukulele, I started singing some songs. The guy with the ukulele has a band. His band played at my aunt’s birthday earlier this year and I was invited to be a surprise singer for a couple of songs. This was the first time I was going to be singing in front of a crowd with the expectation that it was going to be good. It was so much fun! I’m still not looking to perfect my singing but I more confidently singing out loud now having overcome the comments of my childhood.

Click here to see a video of me at my aunt’s birthday!

My point here is that I want everyone to find joy again in enjoying things you like without the pressure of it having to be good! So many people are in quarantine or partial lockdowns. If you feel like doing something or trying something new, just do it! Don’t let the need for perfection ruin the process.

Here is a sample of some of the things I’ve made over the years. My dream is to one day have a studio room where I can have all of my supplies and just go and create.

One thing I love: group chats! Although my family is spread across the globe, my little sister in Austria kept us all on top of the latest updates regarding the election.

One thing I ate: a pecan caramel cinnamon roll from a bakery down the street from the hospital owned by the mother of one of the nurses. The proximity is dangerous.

One thing I’m grateful for: Biden Harris 2020. Thank goodness.

mfg

Herstory, Locum

Scenic views, Svikki’s origin, & the scariest Halloween

November 2, 2020 No Comments

I just got back from a 3.5-mile hike in the Black Hills. The weather did an about-face over the past week and there was a high of 60 degrees Fahrenheit today with a beautiful sunny sky. I wasn’t going to let that opportunity pass by. I didn’t see another human being the whole time I was out there. It was just me, the forest and the wind. At one point, I caught myself singing “Colors of the Wind”.

Svikki MD

The other Family doc was out of the office this week. They have been in the area for decades and have a well-established panel of patients. I was on call four times last week. Between covering the other doc’s messages and prescription refills while on call and having quite a few of their patients stop by for same-day appointments, I was pretty busy last week.

Clinic

I am currently still seeing mainly same-day appointments as patients are establishing care with one of the other providers when able. It’s only fair to the patient, I’m only around for 5 more months. The same day appointments have led to some pretty interesting cases. I’ve called up other specialists more than once last week. Although our clinic only has Family Medicine and Internal Medicine physicians, I can find most other specialists either in Spearfish (20 min drive) or in Rapid City (50 min drive).

My instinct to call the specialists turned out to be right every time. Sometimes, I feel doctors are afraid to ask for help because they think they should know how to manage it themselves. I see no shame in consulting a colleague who has more expertise on a subject… at the end of the day, it’s best for my patient’s care and my ego can take it.

Hospital

I took over several of the other doc’s admitted patients while they were on vacation. Consequently, I had a different swing bed patient to check in on every day. My second to last clinic patient on Friday ended up needing admission. That bought me my second weekend in a row going in on the weekend days as well for acute care visits.

On call

There were a lot of call shifts last week. Two docs were out of the office which left me and one of the internists to cover the call schedule. Luckily, the nights were quiet. During the day, however, I was covering calls, prescription refills, and patient messages which kept me busy between clinic visits.

So why Svikki?

I wanted to use this week’s post to explain why my site is called Svikki. Most people know me as Viktoria or Viky or Vik. Only a few people call me Svikki…well, really, it is only my aunt and uncle that do. I have used the name for my social media handles ever since it’s creation though. My aunt is the one who came up with it many, many years ago.

My aunt is a master of fabric crafts. Her quilts are prized possessions in our family. Her basement has a room filled with fabrics, a fancy sewing machine, and colorful creations on the walls. One of my favorite things to do when visiting is hanging out in that room with her. She had fabric tags made for me that say “Svikki” on them so that I can sew them into the things I make. If only I wasn’t hundreds of miles away from my stored things, I’d be able to show you what they look like.

I’ve also used “Svikki” in art work I’ve made for my aunt. For example, this painting I made based on a 1950’s Zwicky Ad. I replaced the cat in the Ad with one of my aunt’s favorite cats she’s had, Pauli. He was a pretty cool cat.

Happy Halloween

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. I’ve always been in awe of the annual parties Heidi Klum would throw. When I moved to Germany for medical school, I started hosting Halloween parties of my own. Halloween really wasn’t that big in Germany. It came as no surprise to me that for the first year, I saw a lot of your classics: witches, mummies, ghosts. The people kept on raising the bar year after year though and there were some really impressive costumes over the years.

I would start grocery shopping a week in advance of the party because I would bake so many Halloween themed treats. I’d decorate the apartment for days. Every year was unique and so much fun. Each year the party grew in size and popularity. I love hosting parties and seeing others get invested in the holiday brought me so much joy.

Working in Miami for a year, Halloween was a particularly fun time to be there. I had partied in Miami during Halloween before. However, working there with a crew of super fun people and dressing up for themed nights took it to another level!

The scariest Halloween yet… 2020

Sadly, I spent this year’s Halloween on the couch watching a movie. I’m sure I’m not alone in this. Unfortunately, I also am aware that many people were out celebrating this year. Trick or treating can be done in a safe, pandemic aware fashion, but what truly scared me, more than any scary movie could, is how many people I know went out to clubs or house parties to celebrate.

I TOTALLY understand wanting to dress up and head to the club for a night of fun, but people, we are in the middle of a raging pandemic. Many sacrifices have been made, many get-togethers canceled,… I understand. But last night probably should’ve been another one of those sacrifices. We aren’t ready for that yet,…not safely anyways. It scares me to think about how many more cases will be fueled by this. It scares me to think about my fellow health care workers and myself who have put their own lives at risk to take care of Covid patients.

The ICUs around the country are filling up. The USA does not have the capacity like some other countries do in terms of ICU beds per capita. Even less so in rural areas like Deadwood, South Dakota. Yet, the people were out last night. I don’t want to be mad at people because I know people have sacrificed a lot and want to go back to how life used to be. However, today’s decisions carry much heavier consequences with them currently. I can only hope you are spared but I can in no way guarantee that. So please, stay healthy, stay kind, stay strong, and be considerate of your fellow human beings.

One thing I love: scrolling through old pictures on my hard drive. I’ve had so many fun times in my life and time-traveling back to those times brings me a lot of joy.

One thing I drank: Hot apple cider. It’s that time of the year and I can’t get enough!

One thing I’m grateful for: my friends and family sending me packages. I LOVE getting (and sending) mail. From winter care packages to edible arrangements. Thank you! <3

mfg