smbc Archives - Svikki

Welcoming Mäuschen

June 6, 2024 1 Comment

We returned from our first fly-away vacation as a family of three a few days ago. I had packed my computer thinking I might be able to snatch a few moments to write this post. The joke was on me though, I merely opened my laptop once to write an email. I had essentially no “free” time at all while in Mallorca. We had a really lovely trip though and were joined by my sister for most of the trip.

I’ll share more about our Mallorca trip in a separate post.

PAST

But for now, I wanted to finally share my birth story. It’s already been over three months!

Dress rehearsal

A few days before the delivery, I experienced contractions. They were frequent but not regular. However, they did last about 4 hours. It was late evening and my toddler was running a fever that night. So when Mausi woke up and needed comforting, the contractions eventually stopped.

The following days were uneventful with no real contractions. I had a prenatal visit the day before the due date and things looked fine but no signs of imminent delivery.

I had an induction with my first pregnancy on the due date. At that time, my cervix was closed and I hadn’t experienced any sort of regular contractions before. I induced on the due date because I lived 1.5 hours away from the hospital and didn’t want a 3-hour round-trip drive every other day for monitoring.

Since things seemed pretty chill the day before the due date and my cervix was still closed, I made plans with my aunt, uncle, and mother (who had arrived in Germany a week before the due date) to have lunch the next day.

Tell me your kid is German without telling me your kid is German

03:30 AM

It was the morning of my due date. I had woken up to pee. A rather normal occurrence at this point. However, I was unable to fall asleep again which was odd.

04:30 AM

I started feeling contractions. From the start, they were rather frequent, about every 5 minutes. I decided to monitor them thinking this might just be a false alarm and it’s been 4 minutes, certainly, there wouldn’t be another contraction in the next minute, and….. ohhhhh….. there it is. I decided to monitor it for one hour.

05:30 AM

The contractions continued about every 5 minutes without a break. I got up and started to gather my things for the hospital but still wanted to monitor for another half hour and wait until 6 AM before waking up my mom. She had heard me walking around however and came to see what was going on.

06:30 AM

With continuing regular contractions, I rang my uncle to let him know that I wanted to head to the hospital soon. He was tasked with watching Mausi while I was at the hospital.

07:00 AM

We arrived at the hospital. I was brought into a room and greeted by the night-shift midwife. She performed a cervical check and put me on the monitor. I was only about 1.5 cm dilated. After a half hour on the monitor, she came back with the day shift midwife who was just starting her shift. The baby looked good on the monitor. They asked me if I wanted to go home again, go have breakfast, or go out on a walk. The reason was that they didn’t want me cooped up in a hospital room for so long, since some deliveries can take quite a long time.

We also discussed the type of room I’d like for after the delivery. My options included a shared room, a private room, or a family room. The family room would allow my support person to stay with me, essentially being admitted to the hospital as well, and would be my main helper postpartum. I elected to request the family room. This would cost me about 70€. Gotta love the German healthcare system.

I knew that I would not make it home with the frequency and intensity of the contractions I was having. But, since it was a lovely fresh morning, I opted to take a walk with my mom to a nearby bakery to grab some breakfast. I was informed that I would be able to have more than just one person with me at the delivery so I immediately rang up my best friend so that she could join the party.

08:00 AM

The bakery is just around the corner from the hospital but I was already having to stop with each contraction and focus and breathe through them. I didn’t even have an appetite anymore by the time we made it to the bakery. All I wanted to do was return to the L&D floor. My bestie arrived while my mother and I made our way back to the hospital.

08:30 AM

Back in our room, the midwife seemed surprised to see us back so soon. She reviewed some non-medication pain management strategies including getting into the bathtub. I was very keen on this option as I had always wanted to try it out but this was not available during my first delivery. I imagined it would feel nice to be in the warmth and be supported by the water.

09:00 AM

Off into the tub I went! It felt so nice. The midwife asked which aroma therapy I would like added to the water and I chose lavender. That has always been my go-to relaxation scent and was what I envisioned when thinking about deliveries and aroma therapy.

The contractions were continuing very regularly. I enjoyed the water while chatting with my mom and bestie between contractions. It didn’t take too long though and they became more intense. I was no longer interested in conversations and requested my AirPods.

My mom and bestie went into the main room while I immersed myself in Vivaldi’s Four Seasons. The crescendos and decrescendos lined up so perfectly with some contractions, that it felt almost magical.

09:45 AM

My mom was back in the bathroom with me and massaging my back and neck. I was still immersed in the world of Vivaldi, Bach, and Mozart.

I performed my own cervical check and found that I was about 5 cm. My amniotic sac had not ruptured yet.

A few strong contractions later, I felt the amniotic sac pop at the height of a contraction. Since I was suspended in water, I did not have the same Niagra Falls sensation I did during my first delivery.

10:20 AM

My midwife was back and wanted to do a cervical check. For this, she requested I be lying back some. Up until this point, I had mainly been hanging over the tub edge. It took several contractions to get into the right position. I was completely dilated!

10:40 AM

I got myself back into my preferred position because I felt it was almost time to push. The midwife reapplied the monitor.

10:45 AM

The midwife told me the baby was “reacting” to the contractions and if it wasn’t coming out soon, I’d have to get out of the tub. I knew there was little chance I was going to be able to maneuver myself out of that tub considering the intensity of the contractions.

10:46 AM

During the next contraction, the midwife said the baby was making its way out and it was time to push. I felt that too.

10:51 AM

The midwife told me to take a feel of the very hairy head that was making its way out!

10:54 AM

My final contraction… the midwife instructed me to push, push, push,…now no pushing, just breathe (while she maneuvered the shoulder)… okay now push, push, push. And then I proclaimed “Raus!” (German for “out”).

She handed me the baby between my legs underwater for me to retrieve and lift above water in front of me. And there Mäuschen was. My sweet, not so little, second baby. While admiring their cuteness, one little hand lifted and touched my nose. What an experience! My bestie cut the umbilical cord. My mother had the honor during my first delivery so I wanted to provide this opportunity to my best friend.

11:00 AM

I handed the baby off to my mother at 10:59 AM and got out of the tub and into the hospital bed. Mäuschen was quickly looked over by the midwife but back in my arms and offered to breastfeed by 11:04 AM. I delivered the placenta shortly thereafter and the physician then repaired the tear (my previous episiotomy scar tore).

I was given the option to have an ambulatory delivery. Given that it was so early in the day and I felt great, I elected to proceed with this option as I did not see a reason to stay the night in the hospital and away from my toddler. All we had to do was remain in the hospital for at least 4 hours after the delivery. We weren’t going to make our original lunch plans at 2 PM but decided to get the food to-go and have it at my place just a couple hours after our original planned time would be perfectly acceptable as well.

12:00 PM

Mäuschen received the official first well-child exam from the midwife in the room with me. We spent the next few hours chit-chatting and informing friends and family of Mäuschen’s arrival.

03:40 PM

We took a group picture in the L&D room and then were off to return to my apartment. My best friend drove us but had I needed to, I could’ve probably walked home. The anesthetic local injection for the episiotomy tear was still working very well at this point.

04:10 PM

We arrived back at the apartment and Mausi got to meet Mäuschen for the first time. My aunt, uncle, and cousin had picked up the food. Mausi inspected my now deflated stomach that previously housed their baby sibling as if to verify that the baby had indeed been in my belly. Mausi received an older sibling gift from Mäuschen and then we all sat down to eat. I sure was hungry at this point and enjoyed my well-deserved first real meal of the day.

PRESENT

As I mentioned, we returned from our trip to Mallorca a few days ago. I’ll be sharing pictures and videos from the trip on Instagram and Facebook over the next couple of weeks and plan on writing a dedicated blog post as well.

Mausi continues to go to daycare while Mäuschen accompanies me throughout that time running errands and preparing content to share.

FUTURE

We are off to Croatia soon. My sister will be joining us again! It won’t be a very long trip but I look forward to exploring a new city.

So many trips are planned for the remainder of the year. Looking at the next couple of months:

June: Croatia and Egypt

July: Houseboat tour in Germany and a trip to a location that is yet to be determined. Possibly Itlay or Greece.

I hope you’ll continue to follow along!

mfg

Motherhood

Hapai in Hawai’i

April 29, 2024 No Comments

This might be unpopular opinion,…but I love being pregnant.

PAST

I’ve met a few other women in my life that have felt the same way but most don’t. And that is totally ok. There is no right or wrong way to be pregnant. I was very fortunate in my pregnancies that my symptoms were limited. Food aversion in the first trimester and some hip pain with sleeping in the third trimester. I admire my sister for having gone through three pregnancies where she was ill and throwing up essentially until the baby was born. Knowing I would feel ill for 9 months, I don’t know if I could have done it three times. And she did all of this while being in residency or already a mom to two kids and an OBGYN attending. I wholeheartedly understand when she says she doesn’t like being pregnant.

It’s also ok to like certain aspects of pregnancy and dislike others. Pregnancy, like many things in life, is complex and not black/white. I don’t want anyone to feel they have to have the same experience as me or feel bad that they didn’t enjoy pregnancy.

In my experience, pregnancy was wonderful. I loved the growing belly, and the baby kicks, and looked forward to the birthing experience.

First Trimester

As I mentioned, I had food aversions during the first trimester. I didn’t feel ill, I just had no appetite for anything. This didn’t bother me too much during my first pregnancy. With a toddler at home to feed, however, it seemed like such a big task to find nutritious food to offer my toddler and not just live off of noodles every day. Thankfully, noodles are a favorite food in my toddler’s book. But I wanted to make sure we hit a few more food groups with our meals.

I ended up losing a few pounds (similar to the first pregnancy). However, I started at a lower weight than the first time around. This was mainly due to the hectic life of a full-time working solo mom and not that I was actively trying to lose weight. I was at the lowest weight I had been since graduating High School which scared me a bit so I tried to eat, even if I wasn’t hungry.

Thankfully, I didn’t have the nausea or extreme fatigue others experience. Shortly after entering the second trimester, the food aversions started to lift. I rejoiced in the fact that fruits and vegetables were appetizing again.

Second Trimester

The second trimester was fairly uneventful. I noticed a baby bump quicker than with the first pregnancy, which is expected. I also felt the first fetal movement much earlier, at about 15 weeks.

My ultrasounds and genetic testing happened in Honolulu. It was WILD to me that the Women’s Health Center on Moloka’i didn’t offer genetic testing. Especially since the facilities of the same hospital system in Honolulu did. One would think they could extend their lab contract to Moloka’i and spare the pregnant patients an expensive trip to Honolulu for a blood draw.

As with my first pregnancy, I did not want to know the sex of my baby in advance. I feel we have so few good surprises in our lives these days that this was a surprise I was curating for myself. I repeatedly told doctors that I absolutely did not want to know at every appointment. Especially the ultrasound appointments! I always closed my eyes when they placed the probe on my stomach until they told me it was safe to look.

As the sex was not mentioned in any report, only the doctor who did my fetal anatomy ultrasound and my OB at the end of my pregnancy knew in advance which sex my baby had. Ultimately, I didn’t care which sex my baby had. I feel there is way too much pressure put on a baby’s sex. However, I can also understand parents being interested in finding out as soon as possible.

Third Trimester

I stayed in Hawaii until I was 35 weeks pregnant. The belly continued to grow and I continued to go about life as usual. The pregnancy hardly slowed me down while caring for my energetic toddler. I occasionally went to bed earlier, but I still did all the cleaning around the house, the grocery shopping, and packing for our departure. What other option did I have? I felt physically well too so it was fine.

The office staff threw me a baby shower during my last week at the office. They are such sweet people.

I also managed to shoot with a local photographer again. It was sort of spontaneous and the rain cut our session short but we still managed to get some great pictures!

At 35 weeks pregnant, I schlepped my toddler, car seat, carry-on, and two suitcases from Moloka’i via Honolulu to Ohio. We were only there for a day before my toddler and I flew to Texas to meet up with a fashion photographer. I’ve known her since High School and have always wanted to shoot with her. Our schedules didn’t align during my first pregnancy so it was a top priority of mine that I make it work this time around.

We got some amazing shots! I’m in the process of printing a selection out as posters for our current apartment.

After the shoot, I drove to Austin to meet up with my good friend and finally met her baby boy. We enjoyed a day of mommy/children time together. The following day, it was back to Ohio to pack and get ready for Germany.

The final stretch

I arrived in Germany just shy of 36 weeks pregnant. We stayed with my aunt and uncle for a few weeks while we got the basics set up in our new apartment. I celebrated my birthday with friends I hadn’t seen in over 6 months. My toddler started German daycare and loves it.

Having my toddler in daycare and not working as a physician, this was the first time in almost three years that I consistently had a few hours of “me-time”. Much of that time was still spent getting errands done that were more easily done without a toddler. However, I also made it a priority to sit in a cafe and enjoy a beverage peacefully. Had I not been pregnant, I would’ve made several trips to a spa for a massage or facial.

Differences in Prenatal Care Before Delivery

With both of my pregnancies, I worked until about 35 weeks. In the first, I then traveled from South Dakota via Wisconsin to Ohio. For this last pregnancy, I traveled from Hawai’i via Ohio to Germany. For both, I did my routine prenatal care with a different provider than the one around the time of delivery. In America, my delivery was assisted by an OBGYN. In Germany, my prenatal care was done by an OBGYN but my delivery was assisted by a midwife. Midwifery is much more prevalent in Germany than it is in America. Many women do their prenatal care with midwives as well.

German Benefits

Since I didn’t work in Germany, many of the peripartum benefits didn’t apply to me. I spoke with my friend about what benefits are available. Just to name a few things:

Some women are not allowed to continue working the moment they become pregnant if their job poses a risk to the pregnancy (such as daycare workers, teachers, flight attendants). They stop working but continue to get their full pay.
Physicians (interestingly enough, given the constant exposure to disease) are still allowed to work BUT are only allowed to work the day shift, and aren’t allowed to draw blood or administer chemotherapy (among other restrictions).
The pregnant person receives 100% of their salary during the time they are not allowed to work
6 weeks before the due date and 8 weeks after are protected times and no pregnant person has to work while still receiving pay and job protection
After the 8 weeks postpartum, the “Parent-time” starts. The regulations are currently changing a bit but essentially, you get paid a percentage of your salary up to 1,800 Euros a month during the parental leave which lasts 12 months.
You can take unpaid parental leave until the child is 7 years old and your job is secured during that time.

Pregnancy pokes

One of the benefits I was able to partake in was prenatal acupuncture. I went once a week to see a midwife who performed acupuncture on my lower legs. The thought was that the points targeted increased the energy flow to the cervix and uterus and would decrease the time of labor. The week before my due date, we added a point that was meant to induce labor. Did it work?

It felt like a little spa treatment of sorts. It was an opportunity to just relax and focus on the pregnancy. Ultimately the delivery was shorter than with my first child (not uncommon for the second child). The delivery happened 4 days after the induction points were targeted. So, who knows?

PRESENT

We went on our first family trip since the last post. We drove to Stuttgart for my godchild’s confirmation. It was a 4.5-hour drive. We made it with just two potty/breastfeeding breaks along the way.

It was a nice weekend of spending time with family. The view from my great-aunt’s house is always lovely. The pretzels in the south are just better, so a lot of pretzel breads were eaten. I wish we would’ve stayed a bit longer but the weather was oddly freezing and rainy. We wouldn’t have been able to do much with two small children. Wrangling a toddler in someone else’s house is not exactly relaxing for me. Hopefully, we will head back again in the summer.

FUTURE

I am fully in planning mode for future trips. These plans seem to constantly be changing as family and friends ask if I want to join them on trips. If plans work out as they are currently planned, we will have about two trips at least per month for the rest of the year. I’m excited to be going on some trips with my sister (who currently lives in Austria). Many European destinations but also some northern Africa and Asia will be included.

Should be quite the adventure to travel with two small children as a solo-mom. Stay tuned!

mfg