A hui hou and Mahalo Moloka’i

Aloha and greetings from gray-skied Germany!

The fact that my last post was in August of 2023 is a good indication of how busy I was over the last 6 months. 

Our time in Hawai’i has bittersweetly come to an end. We departed Moloka’i on January 19th, 2024, just 9 days shy of being there a full year. I am so happy I decided to go and grateful for the experience. 

As previously mentioned, we moved into a new house for the remainder of my contract. The view from that house is perhaps one of my favorite views I’ve had anywhere. The house was spacious but certainly also gave me plenty of work keeping it clean. There seemed to be seasons for critters who tried to join our living situation. Cockroaches, scorpions, centipedes, ants, and mice all seemed to take turns keeping me on alert all the time. I always with house shoes on. I would scan the floor each morning before my toddler awoke to make sure nothing was lying around.

My fear was either of us getting a centipede stab most of all. Many on the island had told me these hurt the worst. I had also seen some infected wounds in the office. I didn’t mind the centipedes’ appearance, just their potential. The scorpions were my least favorite encounters, however. I’m happy to report we both made it off the island unharmed by critters. 

We stayed mostly on the island of Moloka’i the second half of the year. Aside from a weeklong trip to visit my mother and sister in Ohio and New York, respectively, and an extended weekend trip to Miami for a friends wedding. Hawai’i is just so far away! Travel times were longer than my average travel times to Europe from the mainland. Luckily, my toddler is seasoned when it comes to long flights and we managed them relatively well. 

Sunset view from our house
The beautiful driveway
The sunsets were often magical

Mokulele Monopoly

One of the main reasons we didn’t venture to the other islands for short trips was related to the singular and awful local airline. Notoriously unreliable, Mokulele, also called Moku-delay-lay, has made life difficult for the community on the island. Aside from frequently moved flights, delays, or cancellations, they are also quite expensive. A short 20-minute flight to Maui costs about $120. Whereas you can island hop between the other islands with Hawaiian Airlines for a fraction of the price. Although I realize flying small propeller planes is likely more expensive per capita than a full jet plane, it hasn’t always been this expensive. Pre-pandemic airlines used to offer reliable $50 one-way tickets. That company was sadly bought up by Mokulele and well, they certainly didn’t continue their business model in any regard. 

The flight issues have lead medical specialists to stop coming to the island. Home physical therapists stopped their services as well. Patients have a hard time making it to their doctor’s appointments on time in Honolulu. Some offices have resorted to just saying “Get here and we will see you when we can”. I’m positive it is impacting more areas of business than just healthcare. I truly wish and hope that this improves for the people of Moloka’i quickly. 

Waiting once again on our flight after several delays

The People

Besides the beautiful ocean views and ability to visit the beach on the weekends, I will certainly miss the people and community of Moloka’i. There is beauty in small towns and the communities that inhabit them. Certainly, there are also drawbacks. It’s not for nothing that a popular sticker reads “What happens on Moloka’i, everyone already knows!” 

The vast majority of people I interacted with were grateful for my presence as a doctor. I always replied, “It’s my pleasure, a beautiful island is not a bad place to be!”. 

The island doesn’t feel like your typical Hawai’i. It feels like real people, living real lives, with culture and community. I don’t blame them at all for wanting to keep it that way and hold off any major tourist development. This would undoubtably change the vibe of Moloka’i. So, if you are looking to visit Hawai’i, please, go to any of the other islands that are set up for tourism. Not only do those islands need the tourism to sustain so many people’s livelihoods but you’ll also find enough beautiful nature on the other islands with much better infrastructure to accommodate you. Don’t be shocked if you aren’t exactly made to feel welcome on Moloka’i as a tourist. It’s not what she is there for. 

A stroll through our front yard

The Office

The office staff is another area I will miss dearly. The whole staff was female except one male MA (bless his heart for managing to work with all of us). They are fun, fierce, loving, caring, and work hard. My toddler enjoyed visiting all the aunties and especially loved being spoiled with chocolates. 

Being a small town, patient and staff interactions were much more intimate and intertwined than in bigger cities. Many patients were someones relative or they had gone to school together. It often led to the hallways being filled with staff stopping at exam rooms to chit chat with patients or patients chatting across the hallway between rooms with other patients waiting. It was just a really lovely environment to work in. Props to those women and man for supporting their community so well. 

Last day as Dr. Vik

The Beach

Months before our departure, it dawned on me that we only had a limited amount of weekends left on Moloka’i. To not regret not having used the opportunity wisely, I made an effort to go to the beach every weekend, usually on Sundays. It worked most weekends unless it was pouring rain. The few hours on the beach grounded me. My toddler enjoyed our beach days too. Nothing like rolling around in the sand and running into the ocean. We often started our time on the beach by ourselves and as it drew closer to noon, a few others would appear. 

There was a group of paddlers that met most Sundays at one of the beaches we frequently visited. My toddler loved looking at the canoe and climbing all over it while on shore. I knew some of the paddlers through our friend who rented us the house we were living in. They all embraced my toddler’s curiosity and enthusiasm with the canoe and often would allow them to climb in and even handed them paddle to paddle the air. So often, my toddler requested to go out on the water with them. I sadly had to deny the request and said we would have to wait until they were older and bigger for it to be safe. So, while the crew of paddlers took off on their trip, my toddler and I would run, splash and swim in the ocean instead. 

Looking back on those beach moments, I think being on those beaches was when I was most at ease. 

On duty, all the time

Many people asked me if I would be coming back to Moloka’i in the future. I could see myself going back, for a few months at most. Alternatively, when my kid is in their tween years. As much as I enjoyed our year on Moloka’i, it wasn’t always easy. That’s not to say it was hard, but it was very busy. I initially thought it would be a more relaxed year overall given the limited distractions. While this was true in one sense and I certainly felt calm with living the slower-paced, less distracted life and daily views of the ocean,…normal day-to-day things kept me constantly busy. 

On the mainland, I had several factors that helped simplify my life as a single working mother. I would occasionally have a cleaning person clean the house we stayed in. There were many opportunities to entertain a toddler including museums, parks, libraries, playgrounds, etc. I had an au pair last year which allowed for me to have a few hours a week to do something for myself such as work out or sit in a cafe and read. Purple Carrot (a vegan meal kit subscription) was not only extremely convenient but I didn’t have to plan what was for dinner. I’d also have a healthy, delicious lunch left over for the next day. I was closer to family which allowed not only for more visits but also gave me a sense of back up if I needed my mother to fly in to watch my child in case of illness. 

In contrast, on Moloka’i, I had none of this. No one to clean the house (which took up several hours every weekend). No restaurants that catered to vegan or vegetarian diets and Purple Carrot didn’t ship to Hawaii. This meant I was fully responsible for all meals and if I didn’t have the energy to cook, we’d have pasta with tomato sauce. Besides the beach, there was one playground we could go visit. This had to be done in the early morning or late evening otherwise it stood in the hot sun throughout the day. There were no other toddler activities to partake in. My family and friends were so far away, that I hardly had anyone visit (despite SO MANY people saying they would when I announced I’d be going to Hawaii). 

The above essentially meant I was always doing something. Rarely did I just sit and take a deep breath. If I wasn’t working my 40-hour weeks, I was fully engaged in being a mom and taking care of the home. I am aware that this is the reality for many women. Furthermore, I chose to go to a remote island. I’m merely reporting that it was a lot to juggle constantly and now, being around more resources, I more profoundly realize just how busy I was managing it all by myself this past year. Moving forward, I have to ensure certain support systems to prevent burnout on my end and to continue to allow me to enjoy the lifestyle. 

On a whale watching tour
Lilikoi (passion fruit) from our yard
Our adopted feral kitty Cacao
Flowers from the garden

What’s up next?

To be determined. For right now, I am enjoying some much needed time with family and friends in Germany. I’ve eaten my weight in bread because it’s just so darn delicious. The plentiful cafes and restaurants have also made me happy. I have some exciting developments in the works that I will share more on once finalized. So stay tuned for that! Shouldn’t be more than a few weeks.

Not an uncommon occurence on Hawaii
This moon was spectacular
I mean….seriously.

mfg

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Emotional Rollercoaster

Well, after being a bit smug the last few weeks about how I hadn’t had Covid yet despite being exposed to it from essentially day 1 of the pandemic (and thinking I might be one of the lucky “immune” people), Mother Nature humbled me last week when I tested positive last Thursday. I’m fully vaccinated so my symptoms were luckily really mild. I tested myself due to a scratchy throat. With the current requirements, I haven’t been allowed to return back to work yet. I won’t be back to my normal schedule until next week. This unexpected forced vacation has allowed me to get some work done that I haven’t had the time to do otherwise. Finally getting an update here is one of those things.

April showers bring May flowers and somehow we are already in June?

It has been almost two months since I last posted. The weather has continuously gotten nicer in the Eugene area. We moved out of our house and into an apartment for the last two months of the assignment here. It is a bummer to have left that neighborhood due to it being so walkable and a park just down the street. The new location is located near the Willamette river though and we are able to take beautiful strolls along the river. Still on the lookout for our nearest playground.

We flew to Ohio to celebrate my baby’s first birthday and for me to attend my co-residents wedding. As my facebook friends may have also noticed, I’m now in a relationship. My facebook relationship status hasn’t changed since the day I created my account many, many years ago. So, it’s a big deal for me. There have been a lot of great moments for me over the past two months.

Some of my co-residents and attendings

Unfathomable events

But there have also been absolutely heartbreaking moments. The shootings in Buffalo and Uvalde tear my heart to shreds. As do the many other shootings that have happened since but don’t get as much media coverage. These occurrences make it harder and harder for me to justify being the United States. I have become so aware and alert of my surroundings. I look for my nearest exit when I enter a building. But even if I were to leave, that doesn’t help keep the people still here safe. I believe the US could do so much better, be so much better. If only money didn’t corrupt humans so much. It’s unfathomable to me that we as humans can witness 19 children and their teachers slaughtered in a classroom and not change anything about the laws that helped facilitate it from happening.

Before I was even able to get around to uploading this post another horrible shooting has taken place. This one also hits me hard personally. A fellow physician was gunned down at a medical facility in Oklahoma by a patient that blamed him for his ongoing pain. The elementary school shooting shattered my heart and made me fearful for children everywhere in this country. As I intend on having my children go to school abroad, its one less fear I have for my own children. But I have a niece and nephew here in the states and friends with children. So it still is a fear that effects me personally.

The murder of a physician and staff members over dissatisfaction on the patients part solidifies a deep fear in me for my own safety. I try really hard to help my patients. I will try to find ways to help them and feel less pain. Sometimes the safest and recommended option is not what the patient wants and they get angry. Weaning a patient off of addictive and harmful medications is the right thing to do (while obviously working on the underlying issue and finding other, healthier alternatives). But when patients get angry, there is a part of me that is terrified they might try to retaliate. I am hyper-aware of my surroundings when I’m entering and exiting my places of work.

I shouldn’t have to feel this way when all I am trying to do is help people. Children shouldn’t have to fear for their lives going to school to obtain an education. Black people shouldn’t fear for their lives going grocery shopping. No one should have to fear for their life just living their life not hurting anyone else.

The ongoing war in the Ukraine. I know the news cycle has swabbed out coverage for other issues, but horrific and utterly unnecessary damage continues to be done to the people and their country.

None of these situations are natural disasters or forces of nature we can’t control. They are deliberate decisions by human beings and that makes it that much more heart retching to me. People choose to not love and help one another. It must be such a sad position to be in to willingly hurt another human being or help facilitate that hurt. Were these people not loved as children? It’s the only explanation I can think of. Humans aren’t born evil.

Adventures

I don’t really have a clever way to transition from such dark topics, so I won’t try. I’ll just continue on to share some of the beautiful places we visited over the past few weeks.

Eugene Saturday Market

I’ve written about this market before. We’ve been back a few times. The opening weekend was definitely the busiest. The subsequent times were less visited but nonetheless fun to attend. We also made it a few streets further north to the Farmer’s Market. I have a hard time visiting a farmer’s market and not buying fresh flowers. There is just something magical about a fresh bouquet of flowers. 😉 We also met the “bubble guy” and had a blast taking some fun pictures.

Sahalie Falls

My local nanny, her two sons, Ally, my baby and I all took a road trip to see the Sahalie falls in April. The plan was to hike a few miles and see a couple waterfalls. As we ascended into the mountains, however, the snow started accumulating height. The parking lot wasn’t plowed so everyone parked along the road. The walk to the viewing area of the first waterfall was an adventure in and of itself. Ally, who is still getting used to how snow works, took a few tumbles navigating the snow and ice. Many years of Wisconsin winters in my life allowed me to navigate the trail well enough not to fall with a baby strapped on my back. Although we only made it to the first fall, it was worth it.

Redwoods

I drove to Medford with my baby for a weekend to visit a friend and explore the Californian Redwood forest with her. These trees are massive. I felt like I was in a Jurassic Park movie just waiting for a velociraptor to appear. The grandiosity of it all doesn’t even really hit until you leave the area and start seeing “normal” sized trees again. The weather was amazing and the lighting in the forrest was magical. We did a quick pitstop on the coast before returning to Medford. What a great area to live with the Redwood forrest and a beach so close to one another.

Crater Lake

This location has been on the top of my Oregon list since we got here. I’ve been waiting for warmer weather so that more of the roads would open up. Despite going in late May, there were still winter weather condition and closures happening. A friend of mine from Ohio, also a SMBC (single mother by choice) and my baby nurse during my labor and delivery experience, was in town visiting with her child. She really wanted to see Crater Lake as well so we figured this would be a great time to check it off both of our lists. Despite there still being snow, and I mean A LOT of snow, the limited views we did have were well worth the 3 hour one-way trip. When there aren’t winter weather conditions at that altitude, more access roads are available as well as the many trails in the area.

I would definitely like to return in the future to check out some of the trails and see the lake from different view points. My aunt was the one who first told me about Crater Lake. She had seen it mentioned on a show in Germany that was discussing different shades of blue. Apparently, Crater Lake’s blue color is quite unique. The water in the crater is from precipitation. It doesn’t have streams feeding into it. That combined with the depth of the lake and the way the sunlight refracts in it, creates a very beautiful blue color.

South Jetty Beach

I can never get enough of the coast and ocean. My friend from Ohio and I took the babies to the beach one day and it was wonderful. It was a bit chillier than I expected it would be (I should have opted for something longer than shorts). We had the beach all to ourselves for most of the time. It was really low tide so the beach extended far out. This provided plenty of crawling/walking around opportunities for the kiddies. Nature’s sandbox is a good place to be.

Emotional Rollercoaster

These last few weeks have really been a ride for my emotions. I don’t believe you are living if you aren’t feeling. Life has its ups and downs. You can’t appreciate the highs if you don’t experience the lows. Having that emotional complexity makes us human. It’s not always easy. Especially experiencing the lows. Whenever the lows occur, I first allow myself to experience them. Then, I fairly quickly try to figure out what the low can teach me. Often, I adjust my priorities. Especially if the low is inflicted upon me by another human. I don’t hold grudges. I’m not mean. I don’t retaliate. I adjust my priorities. And sometimes, that means that person may have fallen lower on my ranking of priorities. I can’t control how people act but I can change my reaction to it.

No one has personally hurt me recently. Those comments are meant in a more general, life-view sort of way. On the contrary, I’ve received a lot of loving energy personally in recent weeks. But I’m also a very empathetic person and the recent events around the world weigh on me. The senseless gun violence, the loss of life, the attack on people’s right to bodily autonomy and abortion laws… it all affects me. As a woman, as a mother, as a physician…and above all, as a human.

I’m not naive enough to believe all these issues will be solved quickly. If anything, they will have less media coverage to make room for the next big story. The sadness, anger and hurt will seemingly fade and it won’t resurface until the next big tragedy. I hope I’m wrong. I hope that this time, something good will actually happen. As the German saying goes “Die Hoffnung stirbt zuletzt”… Hope dies last. So I will continue to hope and find ways to make a positive impact in this world and help protect and heal my fellow human beings and our planet.

mfg

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